Well I'm 2 clomid pills and one shot deep today! I took my first clomid pill last night, and another tonight along with my first shot of follistim. I had to wipe the dust off my
Follistim pen (literally, it had dust on the case) and made my husband shoot me. I know this is going to sound like such a bad problem to have, but I don't have much fat on my stomach so I was really nervous that it was going to puncture my abdominal muscles and then I would be laying there screaming. Dramatic? I know. And it's a little needle too, but I literally have no fat layer there. None. Not an inch. Just skin and then muscle where I am supposed to inject.
My husband didn't believe me, and said " Okay sure, whatever. Just get get over here and lay down." Then he felt my stomach and was like "wow!" "Your right, you don't have any fat there just loose skin...hahaha!" Trust me, I have lots of fat in other regions but for some reason after baby # 2 my body fat distributed differently and I just don't have any fat there! I didn't know what to do. So I just sat on the edge of the bed and scrunched my belly skin as much as possible, grabbed what I could and looked the other direction while he jabbed me. Nice huh?
Not to worry, its was PAINLESS! Perfectly fine! The first one is always a little scary. We're on our way.....
I know this is almost a week late, but I never posted pictures from our Easter this year. It was fun, the girls woke up to their Easter baskets that I made for them and then we went for an egg hunt and brunch at a golf club. They had the Easter bunny there too! After we did the egg hunt we headed back in for a huge brunch buffet. It was an absolutely gorgeous day! Perfect Easter with my little family.
Miss M wanted NOTHING to do with the Easter bunny...
Well AF arrived last night! I called my RE's office this morning to get the ball rolling. We needed to go over my protocol, etc. and I had questions this time since its been a while! I needed a little refresher. Here is what's going down.
CD 3-7: 50mg Clomid
CD 4, 6, 8: 75unit shot of Follistim
CD 8: Start daily OPK's with second or third morning urine
CD 10: First monitoring ultra sound to see whats cooking and when to trigger!
My last cycle (the one where I conceived baby M!) I went in on CD 11 and had (2) 22mm, (1) 15mm and a (1) 12mm follie. I triggered that night and had my IUI 36 hours later. Since I was ready on CD 11 last time, I thought it might be a little safer to bring me in 1 day earlier on CD 10 this time. I just don't want to risk ANYTHING, so its better to be safe than sorry. I would hate to ovulate or start surging on my own before trigger. I just need everything to go as smoothly as possible with this hail mary cycle!
I pick up my meds tomorrow and will start them on Friday!
With this treatment cycle getting ready to start (should be getting AF today or tomorrow!) this is all becoming too real. I am realizing that my plan is now becoming my reality. And as much as I thought I was ready for this day, I am starting to get mixed emotions thinking about all this. I thought that no matter what the out come of these last 2 attempts, I would be okay. What is meant to be, is meant to be. Well now that its actually here, am I really ready for this all to be over?
I just hate that I have to make this decision. I hate that I have to face never having the option to have another child at only 28. I hate that I don't have the luxury of being able to have another in a few years, if we wanted to without having to plan and pay for IVF. I just hate it all. But these are the cards I was dealt. Infertility is not fair, not for me and not for anyone else dealing with it. If this IUI or the next doesn't work- that's it. No more kids. I will never be pregnant again, and I have no more options (unless we pay to do IVF, which will never happen). That chapter is over me. Its a very hard pill to swallow now that I am forced to deal with it. I just wish I didn't HAVE to make this decision. I wish I could leave the door open...ugh.
I will be blogging and documenting through my cycle once it gets started! Lots of prayers please.
Kay had these balloons left over from her party, and M's favorite thing to do is sit on them :) I grabbed my camera and just started shooting and here is all the different faces I managed to capture of Little M in a 2 minute time span! She looks like a different child in almost every picture!
My personal fav :) Such a sweet face, and she looks SO BIG in this picture!
7 years ago today my whole life changed. On April 19th, 2004 at 4:51pm I became a mother. My beautiful, one of a kind Kay Kay entered this world and nothing has ever been the same. It has been the best 7 years of my life! You are my best friend, the one that makes me laugh the hardest, and quite possibly the most interesting little person I know.
You are very quick on your toes and you say some FUNNY things! You're reading chapter books now, you love math, you dance, play soccer, and you love being a big sister and acting like your her mom and I'm the big sister...to which I reply well "then that means your making dinner and cleaning the house too, and I'm gonna go play. K Bye!" but then you quickly remind me that I am really the mom and I cant go anywhere. Haha!
Your full of energy, love being the center of attention, and your so enthusiastic with your words. You have quite the social life too I might add! You can be quite over dramatic at times, but you defiantly will never be left behind that's for sure! Hmmm wonder where you get all those traits from!?
You are just the best. You light up the room and everyone likes to be around you. We have a very special bond you and I. Maybe because it was "just us" for 5.5 years. Right now, your life plan is to go to college, work for Dad, and live at home forever! When you get married you will just move all your clothes to that side of the closet so your husband can have half because you simply cant imagine not living at home and not being with me. I love hearing you say that, and know that one day it will change. So for right now I go along with it all because I know in say....6-7 more years you will signing a different tune. It's hard for me to imagine that in 7 more years you'll be 14!!? I actually just had a mini heart attack just typing it out. Lord help me, if I am still blogging the I know I am going to need some serious support people!
These 7 years have simply flown by and have been the best most fulfilling years of my life. You gave me purpose when I had none, and gave me my greatest title. Mom. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAY. I love more than ice cream!!!
Lots of other bloggers are doing this right now, so I figured I'd hop on! I did something similar a while back. but that was a long time ago...Feel free to c&p yourself!
A. Age: 28, but I tell people I'm 26 1/2.
B. Bed size: King and that's not big enough.
C. Chore you dislike: Bathrooms. Its is by far the worst chore IMO. That's why I leave that to my cleaning lady.
D. Dogs: Nope! 2 cats.
E. Essential start to your day: Coffee! I start every morning the same way; with a cup of freshly brewed yummy coffee with french vanilla creamer.
F. Favorite color: Pink of course.
G. Gold or silver: If you asked me this years ago, I would have said silver hands down, but not I wear and love both! If I had to chose though, I would say silver.
H. Height: 5'1. I'm a shorty!
I. Instruments you play(ed): None. And I cant hold a tune to save my life.
J. Job title: Bookkeeper, HR, CFO, Domestic Goddess, Wife, and my best title ever: Mommy!
K. Kids: 2 girls!
L. Live: A house on the hillside.
M. Mom’s name: Kristin
N. Nicknames: Well when I was younger it was Lil Lisa, or my dad called me Mouth because that always got me in trouble. Nowadays my BFF and her husband call me Fancy!
O. Overnight hospital stays: Only when I had my kids. 1 day with Kay. 5 days with M.
P. Pet peeves: Lets see...The top ones on my list are: FLAKINESS. I hate flaky people who don't do what they say they are going to do, and/or leave you hanging. Be straight up or at least be honest about your flakiness! People answering and/or talking on their cell phones while out to eat. Excuse yourself, or silence your phone. Its just rude.
Q. Quote from a movie: Say Hello To My Little Friend
R. Righty or lefty: Righty
S. Siblings: 2 much older 1/2 sisters that never lived with me and a 1/2 brother that is 8 years younger than me. I always felt like an only child.
T. Time you wake up: Usually 6:00-6:30 a.m. I get up 30 min. before anyone else to have my coffee and have a few minutes to myself to check my email, blog, or just sit in silence!
U. Underwear: My favorite undies are the VS Pink Thongs. That's all I wear! They fit me so well and are the most comfy ever!
V. Vegetables you don’t like: There is not a vegetable I don't like. Seriously, I love all veggies! Remember I was a vegetarian for 9 years out of my life.
W.What makes you run late: Waiting until the last minute to get ready, and my kids. Cliche I know.
X. X-rays you’ve had: Besides teeth, my back. I have scoliosis.
Y. Yummy food you make: Oh man, I make lots of yummy food. I'd say my top dishes are Chicken Piccata (always impressive and a crowd pleaser), And salads- I am known for my salads!
Z. Zoo animal favorites: The ones that aren't shy.
Lasagna I make this a little healthier by using low fat ricotta, low fat mozzarella, and I am going add 93% lean ground beef to my sauce because my husband needs meat. Served with a side salad. Believe it or not, this is going to be the first time I've ever made homemade lasagna. Hope it turns out good.
It don't think I have ever shared why I don't share my girls' names here on my blog..and its probably not the reason you would think. So I've been meaning to write a post to give you some insight as to why I choose not to share their names publicly here.
When I started this blog, I was in the depths of dealing with infertility and this was my place where I could come and let it all out. When you are going through that you don't exactly want to shout it from the roof tops, so you feel very isolated with your feelings. Blogging became my outlet and also allowed me to connect and get support from others dealing with IF. Although now, I don't keep my struggle a secret and I feel much more comfortable with being an "infertile" (that's a whole other post in itself). Probably because I've had success after IF. As a matter of fact when people ask me if and when "I'm gonna try for that boy!" my response is "well we had a hard time having M, so I am not sure if its in the cards for us". That usually shuts people up :)
The point is, this blog was a secret place for me. No one in my real life read or even knew I had a blog. So in efforts to keep it that way, I didn't share Kay's full name.
After M was born I briefly thought about announcing her and Kay's name on the blog, because I don't not share it because I don't want YOU to know what their names are...Its because I didn't want people in my real life to be able to google "Kay..... and M....." and my blog pop up. Make sense? And to this day people in my real life don't know I blog. I'll share my life with complete strangers, but not my friends and family. I know, I'm a weirdo but it is what it is.
So that's the reason why! Hopefully now it wont be such a mystery.
While on Spring break, Kay and I met up with some friends at the nail salon to enjoy a pedicure. Kay LOVES pedicures. Its my fault really....I've been taking her to the nail salon since she was 2! I mean that's what you do when you have little girls right?! We go to this particular nail salon because they don't have any issue with kids, don't over charge for kids, and usually have a few of their own kids running around, so I knew bringing M that day wouldn't be a problem. I've been going here for years with Kay!
Well what do you know, as I was sitting there getting my pedicure I looked over to discover that Little Miss M was getting a little R & R too. Freshly pained pink fingernails! I didn't have my camera, but thankfully my girlfriend did and captured these shots of M getting her first manicure! Priceless.
We paint her toes all the time at home, but this was the first time she has ever had her finger nails painted. I'm not that brave. She did so well, I was impressed! She stood there patiently while the lady painted her nails and blew them dry! That's my girl :)