CD 34 and The Secret

AGHHH! I am now on CD 34 and still no AF. For you charters out there, I did have tiny temp drop today but nothing significant. Damn it! The longest cycle I have ever had was 35 days, and here I am on CD 34 and no sign of her yet. This is not even right. I don't think I have ever wanted AF so badly and here I am with what probably will be my record for longest cycle. GO FIGURE! I better have another temp dip tomorrow or I am going to go postal. I am not even nervous about the scary HSG test anymore, I actually WANT to get it done. That will mean that I will finally be on my way to some answers and some sort of treatment.

I am really trying to be positive, but after being kicked when your down so many times it makes it really hard. Every time I get like this (bitter and negative) I pick up The Secret and read it again. It always puts me back in a good place again, but I let my friend Ambie borrow it, so I don't have it now. I am a firm believer in that you get what you put out there, so if you are negative all the time, negative things will happen to you and vice versa. I don't believe in everything that the book says, but the general message. I don't believe, for example, that if you THINK you are skinny, that you will be and that's it. I do believe however that if you think that your body is a gift and and that you deserve it, and that food is nourishment for your body you will be thinner because you will make better food choices.

If you wake up thinking bad or negative thoughts and think to yourself "I am going to have a bad day today" do you think you are going to have a good happy day? NO! Your going to have a shitty day because you started your day off like that. You get what you put out there. You set yourself up for a terrible day. If you wake up and the first thing you do is be thankful for all the good and wonderful things in your life I guarantee you will have a better day. It really does make a difference in your life having that kind of mind frame all the time!! You are the only one that is in charge of YOU. You are the only one that can control how you feel, what kind of outlook you are going to have, and your life. It is also very easy to get off track and let the negativity from day to day life take over, but like anything else it is how you acknowledge that and move on from difficult times that define you.

So for those of you that have not read The Secret I suggest you pick it up!! Tomorrow is a new day. I am going to wake up with a more positive outlook, be thankful for all that I do have, and hopefully start my period : )