My Christmas Wish List 2012

A new Michael Kors watch  Specifically the new Runway Rose Gold Stainless Steel watch...

A Keurig Elite 40 (which I happily already bought myself on Cyber Monday for an amazing $77.00!) 

A white iPad2 with WiFi (which I also already happily bought myself on Black Friday for a SMOKIN $325.00!)

New Clarisonic replacement brush heads. Specifically the deep pore cleansing brush.

And last but not least a day at the Spa! My amazing staff gave me a nice spa finder gift card, so the day after Christmas you know where to find me!! I've already booked myself a 90 min. massage and body scrub!

I hope you all get everything on your wish list this year!! 

XOXO

What Happened With Me

Over the summer I went through a really deep depression. One that I have never experienced before. I think L leaving was what really set it off. I didn't want to do anything, my normal activities were no longer fun, my marriage was suffering, I felt like a horrible mother, I felt guilty, and helpless. It was HORRIBLE and I would never want to wish that on anyone.

There were days I would take the girls to school, and then come home and climb back in bed. I stopped going to the gym, I gained 10lbs, I couldn't make decisions, I almost didn't know how to function. It was like I was a zombie walking around in a shell of my body. Funny thing is, is this all started while I was already taking my anti anxiety/anti depression drug.

All I wanted was to be "me" and I couldn't. After months of toying with new drugs, new doses, and so on, I finally started to feel better sticking with what I was on in the first place, just at a higher dose. But it took 6 months to figure it out, and I suffered every single day of those 6 months. I hope I never experience that again and if your reading this and experiencing real depression, hang in there. Keep the hope that tomorrow will be better, that tomorrow will be the day that you finally start enjoying life again, and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

If you need someone to talk to, or want advice, or have questions, you can email me at mrslisap at gmail dot com.

What Happened

I'm sure you all want to know what happened with my cousin L. Well she left our family the first week of June, not to go back to her mothers, but to go to her grandmothers. I hated that it didn't work out with us where she could have stayed here, but the truth of the matter is it was really very hard on my family. My husband had had enough, and I was starting to see an impact on my girls with their behaviors that they were picking up from her.

So we decided as a family that it would be best that she go to grandmas, because her mothers situation is not ANY better and I'm not sure if it ever will be. She did tell me once a few months after the baby was born that she should have gone with her gut and let me adopt the baby....but it was too late for that. My heart was already closed and I had moved on. I had too.

After L left it was really hard on me. I felt so incredibly guilty, and responsible and it was so hard for her to understand and my girls to understand, but I simply couldn't let my family fall apart just to help her. The truth is, I did all I could do to help her. I and know that many of the lessons I taught her will carry on with her.

It was and adjustment period to get used to life without her in the house...suddenly the house was so quite, even with 2 kids here. But we healed, and moved on, and things are good now! She's doing well, and my girls have settled back into their "normal" lives.

All in all it was a great experience  and even though it didn't work out the way I had planned, I'm glad we had those 7 months with her. Funny thing is, is she asks to come to our house all the time (not to her parents!) so that means I must have done something right.

Hi.

Lets just pretend I didn't take the past 6+ months off from blogging, K?