Check Me Out!!

A couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine who knows I get Botox regularly called me said "Hey Lisa...when was the last time you had Botox?" I told her it had been 3/4 months. She said "great well how would you like some FREE?" I said SURE....but there was a catch....you have to be on the news.

Done and done.

There is no shame in my game, and I advocate for Botox so WHY NOT?!

So I went the next afternoon, meet with the PR girl, my friend, and Heather Moore from CBS 5 along with her camera crew! The deed was done and I think I did pretty good! I was not nervous at ALL and everyone said I was a complete natural on camera. No retakes here ;)

It finally aired 2 nights ago, so here it is! Your truly on the 10oclock news :)

http://www.kpho.com/story/20549179/20-somethings-frown-on-getting-older-more-of-them-getting-botox-treatments

New Year, New Beginnings

This is a picture of me holding the keys to MY new place. My husband and I are separating. Although this may come as a shock to you, its been a year in the making. We tried, went to counseling, but in the end we just are right for each other. The split is mutual and amicable so hopefully it will stay that way. We are committed to our children and doing whats best for them. Our new house is only 2 miles away from here, so we will be close and close to the kids schools, friends, etc.

Its whats best and although no one wants to get a divorce, I am really excited for what the future holds for me and having a fresh new start!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new place! Its a 3 bedroom, 3 bath, 1500sq. foot town home with a 2 car garage in a small lovely gated community. I feel safe there and it really is perfect!!!

So heres to kicking off 2013 off right and new beginnings!

What Happened With Me

Over the summer I went through a really deep depression. One that I have never experienced before. I think L leaving was what really set it off. I didn't want to do anything, my normal activities were no longer fun, my marriage was suffering, I felt like a horrible mother, I felt guilty, and helpless. It was HORRIBLE and I would never want to wish that on anyone.

There were days I would take the girls to school, and then come home and climb back in bed. I stopped going to the gym, I gained 10lbs, I couldn't make decisions, I almost didn't know how to function. It was like I was a zombie walking around in a shell of my body. Funny thing is, is this all started while I was already taking my anti anxiety/anti depression drug.

All I wanted was to be "me" and I couldn't. After months of toying with new drugs, new doses, and so on, I finally started to feel better sticking with what I was on in the first place, just at a higher dose. But it took 6 months to figure it out, and I suffered every single day of those 6 months. I hope I never experience that again and if your reading this and experiencing real depression, hang in there. Keep the hope that tomorrow will be better, that tomorrow will be the day that you finally start enjoying life again, and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

If you need someone to talk to, or want advice, or have questions, you can email me at mrslisap at gmail dot com.

What Happened

I'm sure you all want to know what happened with my cousin L. Well she left our family the first week of June, not to go back to her mothers, but to go to her grandmothers. I hated that it didn't work out with us where she could have stayed here, but the truth of the matter is it was really very hard on my family. My husband had had enough, and I was starting to see an impact on my girls with their behaviors that they were picking up from her.

So we decided as a family that it would be best that she go to grandmas, because her mothers situation is not ANY better and I'm not sure if it ever will be. She did tell me once a few months after the baby was born that she should have gone with her gut and let me adopt the baby....but it was too late for that. My heart was already closed and I had moved on. I had too.

After L left it was really hard on me. I felt so incredibly guilty, and responsible and it was so hard for her to understand and my girls to understand, but I simply couldn't let my family fall apart just to help her. The truth is, I did all I could do to help her. I and know that many of the lessons I taught her will carry on with her.

It was and adjustment period to get used to life without her in the house...suddenly the house was so quite, even with 2 kids here. But we healed, and moved on, and things are good now! She's doing well, and my girls have settled back into their "normal" lives.

All in all it was a great experience  and even though it didn't work out the way I had planned, I'm glad we had those 7 months with her. Funny thing is, is she asks to come to our house all the time (not to her parents!) so that means I must have done something right.

March Madness

Hi guys!! I'm alive!! I'm sorry if I've been MIA....March was completely crazy! Here's a little run down..

First there was my Los Angeles work trip...

{The Rooftop bar of The Standard Hotel}

Then 2 days later there was VEGAS with the BFF.... Which was a complete blast! Why don't I go there more often? Its only a 51 min. flight! Note to self...GO TO VEGAS MORE OFTEN! And we did it right let me tell you! 2 days...5 hours sleep...rolled around VIP style, partied with Lil Jon, Coolio, and Too Short, Saw Peep Show (which was fantastic BTW), drank and danced all night long!

Pretty much sums it up ;)

Came home, and enjoyed a nice dinner with friends. I love these ladies!

And also got back to these precious little things...

We did the 3rd annual Walk of Hope with RESOLVE!

and took a camping trip up north with some friends...

and I've been really working on my fitness...Bikini season is upon us!

In addition to the above, M now climbs out of her crib even though the mattress is on the floor (hello toddler bed)! Even worse is she brags about it. Walks out of her room and says "I climb out my bed". Someone hold me! K is turning 8 on the 19th and is having a sleepover party next weekend, and L has been giving me a run for my money! Life has been crazy to say the least!

BTW I hate going this long without blogging...I never know how to start back up again and how to catch up or to even try, and I miss you so I promise I will try and end my hiatus now!

Time Heals All Wounds?

They say time heals all wounds. But does it? If you ask people who have lost a loved one, they most always say no that time only makes the loss more tolerable to deal with, but that the wound is still same wound that it was X amount of time ago.

I think time heals certain wounds. Wounds that are capable to be healed. Wounds like the kind of wounds I have with regards to my infertility.

I often wondered (while still cycling, and shortly after) if I would ever be okay with the cards I've been dealt, or if it would always hurt this much? I really wasn't sure if it was possible to be okay with forever feeling like my family is incomplete. Forever feeling a void in my heart.The answer only lied with time.

3 months have passed since that final BFN; and since then there has been much more heartache with a surprise failed adoption, the inner issues that caused me and my family, and becoming a foster mom to my 6yo cousin. I've been through a LOT of heaartache, cried many tears, and said "why is life so unfair?" more times than I can ever count.

But today I can sit here and say that time IS healing my wounds. I am starting to feel a sense of gratuity that it is doing so because I simply cant imagine living with that heartache throughout my life. What a waste of a precious life. A few weeks ago I started reading a book titled:

 "One Thousand Gifts. A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are".

This book has been a huge part of my "recovery" if you will and has sort of been a The Secret way of thinking for me. In years past, since The Secret came out, whenever I would get into a funk or any type of self loathing I would pick up The Secret to help change  my way of thinking and it ALWAYS helps. But with this particular wound, a wound I knew The Secret could not help, I searched for something else and found One Thousand Gifts.

(I have to warn you though, as I wasn't expecting it myself, it is a christian book. Its' fine with me, but just a warning for others who are considering reading it. I do however think that whether Christian or not, the message that this book sends is for everyone who is being challenged by life in some way).  

Basically, this book has helped me realize that yes although I was dealt with a tough hand, and yes I desperately wanted another child, I AM STILL UNDOUBTEDLY THE LUCKIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD FOR GETTING NOT ONE BUT TWO AMAZING HEALTHY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN and that you know what? Maybe god is not giving me a third child for a reason, maybe in the bigger picture its best that I only have 2 children, or somehow no matter how I will never  understand it, this is whats meant to be. The reality is, is that I have already been SO BLESSED.

It in a way has made me feel a little foolish for even asking for more when I have been given such an amazing (2) little people. But I couldn't help how I felt, and I certainly couldn't control those undeniable feelings for the chance to do it just.one.more.time. and maybe I was put on this journey, even to only end in despair, to find out things about myself. Like I am a LOT stronger than I ever thought I was, and that I need to find out more about myself outside of motherhood. If you would have told me even 5 years ago that by age 30 I would have gone through numerous hormone shots and infertility treatments, gone through a FAILED ADOPTION, and became a FOSTER MOM I would have NEVER, ever believed it.

So the past 3 months have been all about grieving, healing, and self discovery for me and its not over yet. I just wanted to put it out there that IF YOU CHOOSE to allow yourself to open up to other things, and to believe that this maybe part of something bigger, your way of thinking might change, and that can alone help you heal your wounds. And if not, it can certainly at least help you to "feel" better about your "current life".

The pain is still there, it just stings less, and I certainly don't have it all figured out (not even close) and may not ever, but today I am better. And tomorrow I will be even better, because its another day I am alive. Another day that my family is healthy and together. Another day that the sun will be shining and I will feel the warmth on my skin. Another day on this journey...I really do have a great life (with or without more children).

Better Disney Days

Just to follow up from my last post, M was MUCH better Day 2 of Disney! I really think a lot of it was that she just needed sleep! And little codeine cough syrup and omnicef if your keeping track....

She had the BEST time yesterday, and we made sure it made up for the day before :)

More pics! Driving home today (that is if we have enough gas money after the outlet mall at Palm Springs ;))

Reactive Airway Diesease

This is also something I haven't blogged about. My poor little M's health issues. She officially has Reactive Airways Disease and has been on the nebulizer (or the breathing machine as we call it) for the past  2months, and will continue to stay on it twice a day at least until April :( Good thing is, is that the Dr. thinks she will outgrow it- either by elementary school, or if we are one of the lucky ones- high school.

Basically every time she even gets a slight runny nose (even if its from teething and not cold, etc.) she coughs and wheezes until we are on the verge of taking her to the ER. We've had a few VERY close calls this month where even after ALL the neb medications continually we couldn't get her breathing under control. It's VERY scary stuff.

She's also developed this very odd rash that runs along her "dermal nerve" down the back of her left leg. We've treated it every way possible, and over the last 4 months it hasn't gone away. BUT it also hasn't gotten worse, which is a good thing. However, wen she is truly sick I've noticed that it "flairs" up as I like to call it - basically it just gets redder. Here is a picture of it while red red red, she was in mid sickness:

When she's not sick, its still there, just not red. Very very VERY odd. Even my pedi who has 25 years experience has never seen anything quit like it. He does think they could be related to her RAD and that she has some sort of auto-immune issues. So Feb. 9th we are going to The Phoenix Children's Hospitals dermatology department- best of the best- to have it looked at and hopefully get some answers to this odd thing.

Since the arrival of this odd rash, bath time has become a NIGHTMARE. She literally scream bloody murder and WONT sit down in the water. It obviously bothers her skin, so they are a in out, get-er-done type process now, and also not everyday anymore. The pedi told me NOT to bath her everyday, which that is very hard for me. She's a toddler, and they are gross little things. So on the night of No Bath I give her a whore bath....you know....a wipe down with a washcloth ;) Ah..Poor M and the whore bath.

The Pedi did also say to "be prepared to see an allergist in the future, lets see about this rash first then we'll go from there".

So there you have. All of M's health issues. Bring on the neb twice a day (or more sometimes!) is challenging, but we are finding ways to make it doable. Poor little think is such a good girl, so knows its part of her routine and will just sit, and even hold it to her mouth/nose, while she waits till its over. I just hate this for her. No parent wants a sick child, especially one with ongoing issues like this. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY aware that things could be much worse, and count my lucky stars every day. I still cat believe I'm her momma and that she's my daughter. How did I get so lucky AGAIN?

I've Been Hiding a Secret

I've been holding in a secret from you guys. A secret that's been brewing for the last 2 months. It's over now, and although I wanted SO desperately to blog about it and have you all there to support me, I just couldn't let it out. I didn't tell you guys sooner, because I was trying to "protect" myself in case it didn't happen...trying not to get my hopes up..But I'm ready to come out now.

We have been going through the adoption process the last 2/3 months.

We were going to adopt L's unborn baby sister.....Who is now 2 weeks.

I had plane tickets booked, saved all M's baby stuff, and was already to purchase a vehicle that could fit my new family of 6.

Then the day after she was born. They changed their minds. And that was it. Just like that. It was over and there was nothing I could do. But cry.

I was devastated. Completely and utterly devastated. I crawled into my bed, my husband took care of the kids, and I stayed there for 18 hours. Numb. Going through waves of "Why are they doing this? Who is giving that baby a voice? She didn't ask to be born. To maybe thinking it wasn't meant to be, maybe this wasn't MY baby, maybe god saved me from a potential bad situation".

This is an excerpt from a blog draft. Written 1-13-12:

The mom was 150% on board, and the dad was almost there.....until she was born. 2 days ago on 1-11-12 at 5 lbs 4 oz. and 19 inches long. A healthy baby girl. And then they both decided that they couldn't let her go. That somehow love would be enough, even though they cant provide for the children they already have. 1 of them I HAVE. I will blog and actually hit Publish one day. But for now I grieve.

Well it was actually very very hard on me, and I have been trying to cope ever since that day.  I just never planned this. I was never prepared for any of this. This meaning a failed adoption, and I don't know how to deal with this or this loss.

I just knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. This whole "adoption" thing was NEVER part of my plan, and I just don't know how to deal. I was a fool. I knew this would happen. I knew she would change her mind once she held that baby....I am a mother after all, I know what it feels like right after you give birth, when nothing else matters. I knew if I wasnt there already this would happen.

The facts are is that you cant tell an infertile that's been desperately trying to have a baby for the last 2 years that you are going to give her your baby GIRL for 2 months then take it all away just like that.

Each day has gotten better, and I'm starting to realize that maybe this was for the best. As much as it hurts, it taught me a lot. It showed me how strong I actually am, and how HARD going through adoption really is. If you ever been through an adoption, failed or not, my hats off too you. When "they" say is the most intense emotional roller coaster you' ll ever be on, they weren't lying. Thats acutally an understatment if you ask me.

There were good days and bad, days of joy, and many feelings of unknown territory, but all days mostly filled with this undeniable fear that this just wont happen, all while trying to remain hopeful that soon you'll have a baby in your arms. How do you do that? How do you prepare for something for months and NOT get your hopes up? Tell me how that is possible?

It's VERY hard stuff. Stuff I never expected to have to deal with. But I did.

Lucky for me, I DID blog about it throughout the process, I just never published. So because of that, and because this is a part of "My Story" I will be publishing those posts over the next month. Titled The Adoption Diaries.

Thank you guys for always being there for me. For never judging me, and allowing me to be me in this web world. I love you. And although I needed you guys, even though you didn't know it, I knew you guys were there for me. I knew you'd all be here to either congratulate me on my new baby girl, or catch me when I fell. ufortunaty this post ends with me falling. But I'm okay.....I'll be okay.

Wordy Wordless Wednesday: Life Lately

More from M's Pinkalicious Party! Pictures by the amazing and oh so fabulous La Trisha at lsoucyphotography! She is a dear friend and I love her with a capital L.

That last picture is 4 generations! My grandmother on the left and my mother on the right, myself and my beautiful children! Amazing!

A rare sighting of the Hubs ;) and Yes, he wore Pink. She's got her daddy wrapped around her little finger.

We've spent a lot of time with friends, specifically Mya and M's brother from another mother Wyatt. She blogs- but not nearly often enough ; )

We've enjoyed playing with all of our new gifts from Christmas.

Kay and I have had some time to spend alone, which is so rare these days. We went shopping at H & M and had lunch together on Monday. It was divine and I love her so much. She really is growing up to be such a awesome, good, amazing, kind, smart, talented, beautiful, little girl. I am so blessed. How did I get so lucky?

And lastly, we've been spending a lot of time outdoors! Its been gorgeous out, and after the hellish summer, we are soaking in every second of this perfect weather!

Back to my regularly scheduling blogging soon.....and boy do I have A LOT to fill you in on. Miss You!

Therapeutic Run

Some of the most beautiful things have happened to me in the last few months, and I try to think of those things often, so I don't want this to be a woe is me post but I have to get this out.

There has been a LOT of turmoil in my life over the last few months as well. The infertility and the whole loss of a baby that never existed, welcoming L to our family, going through some of the scariest financial times of our life in regards to our business, weight gain from all the infertility shots and hormones, being DEATHLY ill with the flu on Christmas day and the whole week of my girls winter break, a 2 year old that's been diagnosed with early asthma, issues with my marriage that we are trying to work on, grandparents that raised me being VERY ill and in and out of hospitals, and so much more that I haven't even discussed on this blog. Then work! Work...To top it off my Secretary put in her 2 week notice (which really was 1 week and a day) on the day I was admitted to the hospital on my death bed with the flu.

So yeah. Talk me off the ledge. Its been a LOT.

But today....today I had a free morning (which is VERY rare these days) so I put M in the jogging stroller, threw on my running shoes, and I ran...

....and ran....and ran...and ran....and I pounded out all those angry feelings, all the aggression, all the disappointment, bitterness, feelings of betrayal...and I just let it out...and I literally ran and said out loud "Just let it go...just let it go".

My anxiety has been THROUGH THE ROOF the last few weeks and I think its because I've had so much going on. And to make matters worse, I haven't been able to exercise in the last 4 weeks because of all of the above. What I'm realizing is that this anxiety that's piling up is due to the fact that I haven't been able to let it out, and I cant cover it up with medication anymore.

It was at this very moment during the run, that I could totally relate to fighters, boxers, cage fighters, mui tai fighters, etc. I can see that those people are probably people that deal with a  lot of anger and disappointment, or are emotionally turmoiled souls. Those feelings probably make them better fighters, etc. and that's is their way to let it out. I could be wrong, but that's my thought....

So even as a 5'1 115lb blonde mother of 3 girls I can totally relate to a 220 lbs male boxer.

It felt so good to literally pound out and rn out all those feelings. And I can only imagine that that's how they feel after a good boxing.

This morning I ran until I felt free, until I felt cleansed, and until I felt like all of the baggage was left behind. On the pavement. No longer on my back.

Life Changes

During our last treatment cycle (aka the Hail Mary Cycle) I decided that if I didn't get pregnant that I would continue on with my life, embracing it as a mother of 2, and to try and pursue some things for me. Something that didn't involve children, babies, our my husbands business, or the kids schools, etc. Something solely and entirely for ME and MY future that didn't involve shopping ;)

I was pushing M one brisk morning on one of our morning walks, and decided that that something was to go back to school. Because finally, at the age of 29, I just figured out what I really want to do when I grow up. And that's HR/HR management. Its what I'm good at, its what I love.

I have completed about 2 classes shy of an associate degree already years ago when I thought I wanted to major in business marketing. Well now that I've had 6 years of real world work experience under my belt running a business on the back and front, doing, marketing, PR, managing employees, bookkeeping, tax liabilities, insurance, and everything else in between with operating a business,  I've discovered that although I am interested in marketing, it really isn't something I would want as a long term career.

So I decided, (although I have no idea how in the hell I am going to do it) to go back to school to pursue an HR degree!!

Again, I really don't how how I am going to make it work yet, and I know its ambitious to try and juggle working, 3 kids (and a possible 4th, more on that later!!!), being a PTO board member, and my volunteer work, but baby steps is what I keep telling myself. I'm just going to start with 1-2 classes to find a groove, and yes it may take me 5 more years to complete, but its something I've wanted for so long, that I've always put on the back burner. But now its time. Its time to do something for ME.

I start January 14th!

When 4 became 5

I don't even know how to start this post....I've been faced with a very challenging situation over the last few weeks, one that I haven't spoke about to anyone. But its time to let the cat out of the bag. I'm just going to start from the beginning...

My uncle (my moms younger brother) was married in the 90's. Him and his wife were VERY dysfunctional, I cant even begin to get into to all of the details. Lets just say there were drugs, affairs, and abuse of every kind. They ended up having 2 children together, a boy and then a girl. Neither of them are or were fit to be parent in no way shape or form. They ended up splitting when the oldest was 8 years old, and she loved to Florida to be near her family. Since then, my uncle has not been a real part of their lives, never paid a dime in child support, and continues to live off my grandparents at 40 years old.

She's no prize either because since then, she's had at least 4 abortions, sent her kids to live with my other aunt once for a year while she was homeless, has never worked a day in her life, lives off the government and what ever guy she is fucking that week, and get this....she is PREGNANT. AGAIN. But whats worse is she is pregnant by her sisters boyfriend, and IS KEEPING THE BABY. Really, it was just too late for an abortion by the time she found out, and she has already told the kids. I don't even have words for this.

She has always relied on my family (specifically my grandmother) to support her or help her out when she gets into a bind, and my grandmother does it because of the kids. They are her grand kids and just innocent children after all.

I BEGGED and PLEADED with my family to make her give this baby up for adoption, to let this baby have a chance at life and to give a deserving couple a chance to have a family, but she insists on keeping it. She is now 7 months pregnant.

But it gets worse.

She called my grandmother a few weeks ago saying that her boyfriends house is going into forecloser, and they all are about to be homeless and to see if she could take the kids for a few months (the kids are now 6 and 13). She doesn't want the kids to go to the "system" and has no where else to take them.

She has NO idea the burden and stress this has caused the whole family. My grandpa has been in and out of the hospital this whole last year, had a triple bypass, 4 strokes, and 2 amputations due to highly uncontrolled diabetes. My grandmother has lost 50lbs, has had a hysterectomy and a mild stoke this year herself. They are in their final years of life and are NOT fit to care for children any longer. My grandpa cant even take care of himself.

So my husband and I thought long and hard about this over the last few days. I cant help but think how unfair this all is. For infertiles who are desperately trying to have a child (including myself), and for the kids who are so innocent and don't deserve any of this. I've questioned god, her, and myself over this last week.

And well, we decided that the right thing to do was to take in one of the kids. The youngest, my cousin, who is a 6 year old little girl. I've thought long and hard about how this would work out, what this means for my family, how I would feel about investing all this time and money into her and then having to send her back to her MESS of a mother, and everything in between.

But at the end of the day, I am fully capable of providing a loving caring home to her. I realize that not everyone would chose this but we have a stable home with plenty of room, and we can give her a good life. Even if it is only for a couple months.

So me and my husband will be gaining temporary custody of her until her mother can get back on her feet. It could be 2 months, it could be a year. They are on a plane now, and will arrive this evening. We are working on getting all the legal documentation needed to do this.

I realize what a HUGE decision this is. But in the end, and in my heart, I feel it was the right one. Now I can only hope that things will go smoothly. I worry if she has behavioral issues, if its going to be the best thing for my girls and my marriage, and hello I will have another child to care for, but I just couldn't turn my back on an innocent child. Not with all the blessings we have been so lucky to receive.

My Poor Neglected Blog

I cant believe its been a month since I've updated my blog. This time of year in general is just so busy for us, and we've had a few unexpected curve balls in life which has left me little time to blog. Plus M has been VERY demanding of my time and wont let me spend any time on the computer, much less do anything else besides cater to her :). I'm lucky to check my email every few days, so yeah its been like that! Then now that K has been back in school, she's busy with homework, activities and play dates. Plus you know I am on the board of the PTO at her school. All of this = no time for blogging. I have been popping on every now and then to check on some of your blogs....Those of you who are expecting, those TTC, and those living the dream :)  and although I haven't had time to comment I've been thinking of you all!

Here's a quick run down of some highlights from the last month:

M was baptised! It was a beautiful day and she did great. I was worried because shes a busy toddler who's favorite words are NO, STOP, and MINE. To quote Teresa from The Real Housewives of New Jersey "She's sweet, but just don't cross her" ; ) Don't you love that show??! Best season yet!

K top front teeth are both LOOSE! She should be toothless in no time! Cant wait to see her like that, I'm sure its going to be weird!

M got all 4 incisors in the last 4 weeks...which is another reason why you haven't seen me. This brings her grand total to 16 teeth. How many damn teeth do you have? Momma cant handle much more! She also peed on the potty for the first time!!! Although we are far from really potty training, it was so exciting.

I developed HUGE cyst after that last round of fertility treatments (my largest ever) measuring 60x60mm and was put on the pill to shrink it. After a month of bc pills, it was still 30mm last week so I am starting another pill pack today. So I m officially on a forced break. Stupid cyst! I was actually really looking forward to have a natural cycle this month with all my body has been through these last 6 months, so hopefully next month I will be hormone FREE! But TTC is on hold for now..

Ive been working a lot more, and moved my "office" here at home to our actual office so that has limited my internet time even more. Also, I've been dealing with a lot personally with the whole TTC thing (or lack thereof) and the future of our business, and so many other things. It has caused  my anxiety to increase greatly. I actually started Effex.or 2 weeks ago to help me get through these hard times, so I am hoping that will help. Anyone take it? Success? I go through phases in life where my anxiety will be worse than others, and its just one of those cycles I guess with all these stressful things going on.

And last but not least, we added a new addition to our family!! We got a new furbaby!! We adopted a 10 week old baby kitten and her name is Sweetie. K had an instant connection with her at the shelter and she has been the perfect addition to our family. She really is the perfect little cat with the best personality...not too crazy, not too shy, shes perfect! I figure if I cant have a real baby, a new furbaby is the next best thing :) We LOVE her and the girls are over the moon!

Life Lately

Man, I hate not being able to blog more than once a week, because when that happens I have like 2947629204 things to say and my posts become a jarbled mess about everything. Well this is going to be one of those posts, along with some pictures of course. I've been crazy busy with lots of things going on...so where do we start...

I continued my birthday celebration and had a fabulous girls weekend here at The W Hotel. Here we call them "staycations". Its where you check into one of the local resorts in the summer and have little getaway without leaving the city. Its very popular here in the summer, then the snow birds come in and take over. It was the most perfect weekend! I had SO much fun! Our weekend included going out for cocktail's, lounging pool side, and sushi of course! All kid and husband free...because every girl needs that once in a while.

K started back at school last Thursday. 2nd grade people! Boy this summer went by SO quick!

I cant believe it. I am going to miss the little booger with me all the time. It was a lot less stressful starting school this year because her first grade teacher looped up to 2nd grade and took her whole class with her. So K has the same teacher and classmates as last year! Easy peasy. She also started dance again, so we are at the dance studio 2 afternoon's a week.

 Little M is fabulous these days, we are loving this age. She is 19 months, can you believe that?!

(blurry but so cute!)

She is slowly starting to talk more, she tries she really does. She says: Dada, mama, kay kay, cat, meow, quack quack, die die (bye bye, lol.), cup, hi, hug, eyes, nose, and a few more. She LOVES to give kisses and loves to draw. Circles are her favorite...

She's learning her shapes and colors, loves playing with her little people, baby doll, and books. We are already thinking about putting her in school part time once she turns 2 after the new year.

She is also a teething mess right now, cutting all 4 incisors at once. These and the molars have been the worst. But she's still a little angel!

Work has been stressful, business has been SO bad the last couple months, which is kinda scary. However I am hopeful that things will turn around soon. We've had bad times before and bounced back, but this has been pretty bad. It's been a stresser that's for sure!

And on the TTC front, I am 16 or 17 dpo and still waiting on my period to show up! ARG! That's the one thing I hate about not taking progesterone in the 2ww....being out of control. I took a trigger shot, so surely I O'ed, but I do think I have a cyst. Ever since my trigger, my left ovary has been really bothering me so maybe that's why I haven't gotten AF yet? Who knows, hopefully that b!tch shows up soon because the plan is to stat bcp once she arrives to prep for IVF. We are still trying to work out the finances, but I am hoping and praying it works out. In any case, I am preparing and going on bcp's is the first step!

So as you can see we've been really busy, and we have family in town this week but hopefully I can get back to blogging regularly again soon! Miss you guys!