My Christmas Wish List 2012

A new Michael Kors watch  Specifically the new Runway Rose Gold Stainless Steel watch...

A Keurig Elite 40 (which I happily already bought myself on Cyber Monday for an amazing $77.00!) 

A white iPad2 with WiFi (which I also already happily bought myself on Black Friday for a SMOKIN $325.00!)

New Clarisonic replacement brush heads. Specifically the deep pore cleansing brush.

And last but not least a day at the Spa! My amazing staff gave me a nice spa finder gift card, so the day after Christmas you know where to find me!! I've already booked myself a 90 min. massage and body scrub!

I hope you all get everything on your wish list this year!! 

XOXO

What Happened With Me

Over the summer I went through a really deep depression. One that I have never experienced before. I think L leaving was what really set it off. I didn't want to do anything, my normal activities were no longer fun, my marriage was suffering, I felt like a horrible mother, I felt guilty, and helpless. It was HORRIBLE and I would never want to wish that on anyone.

There were days I would take the girls to school, and then come home and climb back in bed. I stopped going to the gym, I gained 10lbs, I couldn't make decisions, I almost didn't know how to function. It was like I was a zombie walking around in a shell of my body. Funny thing is, is this all started while I was already taking my anti anxiety/anti depression drug.

All I wanted was to be "me" and I couldn't. After months of toying with new drugs, new doses, and so on, I finally started to feel better sticking with what I was on in the first place, just at a higher dose. But it took 6 months to figure it out, and I suffered every single day of those 6 months. I hope I never experience that again and if your reading this and experiencing real depression, hang in there. Keep the hope that tomorrow will be better, that tomorrow will be the day that you finally start enjoying life again, and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

If you need someone to talk to, or want advice, or have questions, you can email me at mrslisap at gmail dot com.

What Happened

I'm sure you all want to know what happened with my cousin L. Well she left our family the first week of June, not to go back to her mothers, but to go to her grandmothers. I hated that it didn't work out with us where she could have stayed here, but the truth of the matter is it was really very hard on my family. My husband had had enough, and I was starting to see an impact on my girls with their behaviors that they were picking up from her.

So we decided as a family that it would be best that she go to grandmas, because her mothers situation is not ANY better and I'm not sure if it ever will be. She did tell me once a few months after the baby was born that she should have gone with her gut and let me adopt the baby....but it was too late for that. My heart was already closed and I had moved on. I had too.

After L left it was really hard on me. I felt so incredibly guilty, and responsible and it was so hard for her to understand and my girls to understand, but I simply couldn't let my family fall apart just to help her. The truth is, I did all I could do to help her. I and know that many of the lessons I taught her will carry on with her.

It was and adjustment period to get used to life without her in the house...suddenly the house was so quite, even with 2 kids here. But we healed, and moved on, and things are good now! She's doing well, and my girls have settled back into their "normal" lives.

All in all it was a great experience  and even though it didn't work out the way I had planned, I'm glad we had those 7 months with her. Funny thing is, is she asks to come to our house all the time (not to her parents!) so that means I must have done something right.

Hi.

Lets just pretend I didn't take the past 6+ months off from blogging, K? 

Toddler Bed Night 1

Its happening people. Tonight M is sleeping in her new toddler bed for the first time after a week of escaping her crib. I AM SO NOT READY FOR THIS on many different levels!!

As I write this blog (from my trusty iphone) I've watched her climb out of the bed a few times already on the video monitor. Which btw, how did we EVER survive as mothers with a video monitor??! I mean really?! Each time she's returned quickly as if she's about to get caught. I can only pray it's a smooth transition and I don't have a wondering toddler at all hours of the night.

But if I do, I'll be blocking her in by double stacking baby gates like I had to do with K. Sounds crazy, but if your kid can climb out of a crib with the mattress on the floor- a baby gate is nothing! But 2 is impossible! And yes, K slept the first 3 nights on the floor in front of her door, but she was safe.

Have I said IM SO NOT READY FOR THIS??!!

March Madness

Hi guys!! I'm alive!! I'm sorry if I've been MIA....March was completely crazy! Here's a little run down..

First there was my Los Angeles work trip...

{The Rooftop bar of The Standard Hotel}

Then 2 days later there was VEGAS with the BFF.... Which was a complete blast! Why don't I go there more often? Its only a 51 min. flight! Note to self...GO TO VEGAS MORE OFTEN! And we did it right let me tell you! 2 days...5 hours sleep...rolled around VIP style, partied with Lil Jon, Coolio, and Too Short, Saw Peep Show (which was fantastic BTW), drank and danced all night long!

Pretty much sums it up ;)

Came home, and enjoyed a nice dinner with friends. I love these ladies!

And also got back to these precious little things...

We did the 3rd annual Walk of Hope with RESOLVE!

and took a camping trip up north with some friends...

and I've been really working on my fitness...Bikini season is upon us!

In addition to the above, M now climbs out of her crib even though the mattress is on the floor (hello toddler bed)! Even worse is she brags about it. Walks out of her room and says "I climb out my bed". Someone hold me! K is turning 8 on the 19th and is having a sleepover party next weekend, and L has been giving me a run for my money! Life has been crazy to say the least!

BTW I hate going this long without blogging...I never know how to start back up again and how to catch up or to even try, and I miss you so I promise I will try and end my hiatus now!

Wordless (Away on Business) Wednesday

Post Number 667

I left my last post and realized it was my 666th post! Call me superstitious, but I couldn't leave it. So here it is. My 667th post!

But because I don't have the time to put in a true blog post, I shall bombard with you pictures once again.

More from our Tweep Up...

And some of my 3 little blessings...Even though one of them called 911 while playing with the phone last night and then I had to answer my door in my leopard print night gown to 2 (cute!) police officers at 9:30pm...Never a dull moment I swear...

  

And one just for fun...

 

Away on Business

All next week I will be away on a business trip so there will be no bloggy poo. My mom and grandmother will be in charge of the kids. I feel 100% comfortable leaving them with them, but M's RAD has acted up again this week and I hate the thought of leaving her sick. So this weekend is Operation Get M Better before I leave on Monday morning. Since I'm going to be gone most of next week, I'll also be spending the weekend cuddling, loving, and soaking in every second with my babes. Oh and getting a spray tan. But like any momma, I hate leaving them for any longer than overnights (only because I miss them so!)

I get home on Thursday night, then I leave again on Sunday morning for a two day girls trip to VEGAS! My BFF from LA is meeting me there!! We haven't had a child free weekend together in SEVEN YEARS PEOPLE!! SEVEN YEARS! She is a working mom (Sweet D is almost 2) so this is loooong over due! I'm so so so excited and cant wait to tear Vegas up ;)

So I should have lots to post about and lots of fun pictures when I return! But for now, I leave you with some pictures from the week.

{Taking over the office yesterday}

{The Big Girls}

{Family Tea Party Last Night}

{Momma Rockin Red Pants}

{M Exploring The Park On a Sunny Day}

{Friday Family Movie Night, Last Friday Night}

{K's Self Portrait}

{A Fabulous Peach Color}

Hope you all have a super fabulous weekend! Be back soon!