Update

Yes, our cycle was cancelled last week : ( I took it surprisingly well considering how intense and emotional the whole IVF process is. By the time I reached day 6 I had been to the Dr. almost every morning at 7:30-8:30, could not fit into ANY of my pants, my stomach was so sore and I had little bruises all over my tummy (which are still there BTW, but starting to go away). The extreme bloating is JUST now starting to really get better....Oh the battlefield that is IVF!

So where do we go from here? Well for now we are going to take a "break" the next month or two. We are going to see what continues to happen with DH's count because he is still on his injects. He goes back to the uro next month, and I will have to go back to the RE On CD 1 to make sure my ovaries went back down to normal. Depending on how that goes we may or may not go forward with another IVF in Dec or Jan. So until then I may not be blogging much about IF or babies. I kind of need a mental "breather" from it all. Of course we will continue to try at home during this time and you never know maybe we will get one of those "miracle break cycle BFP's".

So for now I am just focusing on my beautiful daughter and husband and taking things one day at a time. After all this, it has made me feel even more grateful and lucky to have such a perfect little girl!!

May Be Cancelled Today...

I know I have not updated my blog in almost a week.....it has been a crazy week to say the least. Not just with the IVF, but just life in general! Whew....now onto the news.

My rock star ovaries went into overdrive and it looks like I am overstimulating. I had a feeling that might happen to me considering my high antral follie counts and the fact I have never even taken clomid before, so had no idea how I would respond to injectables. So I cant say that I am shocked. Things were going (pretty) smoothly until yesterday. I have another b/w and u/s this morning to figure out where to go from here. At this point I don't even care if it gets cancelled, I am so over the stress, emotions, and discomfort from all this. I am SO bloated and seriously cant even button my pants!!

All those shots for nothing, my belly has little bruises all over it and it is so sore. Oh well. At least I did not open all my meds and they don't expire for a long time. The nurse said we can try again in Dec/Jan. if we want, which is not that far away. Or we may wait and do another S/A next month to see if DH has improved at all since being on the shots for a few months now. My DH has been great and helping me keep a postitive outlook on all of this.

We'll see what happens today. Wish me luck, and thank you for all your kind words and support through all of this!!

First Shot(s) Down...Many To Go...

OMG I was SO nervous! While prepping everything I made every excuse why I had to stop..I have to check on Kay...I have to go to the bathroom...you name it I tried it. Thank god for my DH!! He really helped me get it together, I would be lost without him. I had to do 2 shots, one on either side of my belly button. It did not hurt at all, just stung a tiny bit after. But since I have never given myself a shot before (and in my tummy no less) I had no idea what to expect.

I have a confession though, as you will see in the pics below it looks as if I gave myself the shots, when really in the end I had to have my DH do the dirty work as you can see in the last picture. I tried, but I just COULD NOT push the needle in. I will try again tonight. So without further ado, here are some pics from last nights festivites:

All Set

I took my last BCP on Tuesday night and went in this morning for my baseline u/s, blood draw, and final teaching visit. I start follistim and my baby asprin on Saturday. I call medvoice tonight to get my starting dose and appt. time for my first follie check!

I have not been updating my blog because first I was sick and then I have not been sleeping well the last couple nights...therefore have not been my usual energetic self. Hopefully that will all change now that I got a decent nights sleep last night. YAY!

And I promise I will upload some pics soon!

**UPDATE***

Got the call...I start 150iu of follistim and 50units of low dose HCG on sat. and go in for my first follie scan on monday!

Got My Med List...Wowza~!

Yesterdays appointment was intense. Intense because it was SO much info to take in. First we paid *gulp* 10,050.00 to get going, met the IVF occorinator and we went over and signed the consents, which is a lot of info in itself considering it alone is about 20 something pages. Then we went over all the meds I will be on and when and how I will be taking them(I will get into that in minute), monitoring visits, and calendar. Then it was onto how to prepare the dosages and do an injection, etc. I have never in my life given myself a shot and I was SO very nervous about this! But after her showing me everything I feel alot better about this part of it all....although it is still quite scary to think that every night I will be giving myself up to 4 shots into my stomach! After the appointment I felt so much better, relieved I guess you could say considering I walked yesterday a nervous wreck about all this. On top of it all I have been feeling really crappy lately, like I am getting a cold and just have been really sluggish all day. I think I need a good day of rest.

So now onto the drugs....

I will start stims next Saturday using Follistim Then at some point I will be adding Ganirelix and low dose HCG to the list of daily injections. I will also be taking baby asprin and a pnv everyday. I will be going in every other day for a visit with the vag cam and to get b/w, then on CD 8 I will also start OPK's which that will be weird because I gave those up many a months ago.

When I have produced a good number of follicles I will do a trigger shot (my last shot!!) of either Ovidrel or Lupron depending on how things have progressed, have my ER, then I get to start a whole other list of meds! But at least I will be done with the shots at this point! After ER will start a oral steriod, Estrace, and a progesterone supplement(either PIO, suppositories, gels, or pills).

Stay tuned for the obligatory IVF Med pic, I am picking them up on Monday!! Now time to try and get some rest, hope everyone has a great weekend!

Check!

Today was my saline sono and mock transfer. First, I had to arrive with a full bladder which really sucked because they were running about a 1/2 hour behind this morning. He started off with the mock transfer, inserted the speculum, then the thin floppy catheter, measured the depth of my uterus and all that jazz. Very simple and painless. Then what happened next was the best part....

I finally got to pee!!! AHHHHHHH relief....Then it was onto the second round of the show.

The saline sonogram. It's basically a in depth ultra sound of the uterine cavity and tubes. He inserted another catheter, then the ballon and shot the saline through my uterus, then came the trusty vag cam to check things out in there. So I had both a catheter and the vag cam all at once...don't be jealous. It was pretty much just like the HSG, except with the vag cam too. Again, painless for me thank god.

I left with some AF like cramps, and have had them on and off today but nothing unbearable. Everything looked good, and my RE even mentioned to me that I have a "great looking uterus" and that he thinks "I am going to do great with the IVF and get lots of good eggs"!!

So now all the testing is officially done and it's onto the teaching, pay 10,000 to hopefully have a baby, and sign my life away appointment this Thursday!

Moving Right Along...

Tomorrow I will be going in for my saline sonogram and mock transfer! Yes, another day another Dr. all up in my business!! I must arrive with a full bladder at 9:00. I am really not nervous about this at all, except the fact that I will have to pee the whole time. So hopefully it is short, sweet, and to the point! Me and DH also have to take 2 antibiotics tonight with dinner tonight and 2 more with breakfast tomorrow morning. The IVF coordinator says all couples doing IVF must do this. I guess it is to prevent any bacterias that can be transmitted during regular intercourse, etc.

Tuesday DH is leaving to go on a short business trip...I hate being alone at night. So I will probably have Kaylee sleep in my bed with me, and I am sure she will love that. We'll have like a little slumber party.

I forgot to mention that the other day Kay prayed to god again for a sibling. This time it was for a brother AND a sister! It is so sad to see her want and wish for something so bad, and whats worse is that it is far out of my control. I should be able to give her that....but I can't. All I could think was "Oh she has no idea....Mommy's working on it." But I had to play it off and say once again that "When god thinks its the right time it will happen".

This has to work.

We Got Our IVF Schedule

I talked to the IVF coordinator today and got our dates...here goes:

9/22: Mock transfer
9/25: Consent signing and inject teaching visit
9/30: Stop taking BCP
10/1: Go in for final b/w and u/s
10/4: Start injectable stimming meds!
10/12ish: ER
10/18-20ish: ET
11/1-3ish: Beta!!

AND do you know what is so totally amazing about that??? October 20th is our anniversary!! I could get knocked up that day! That would be amazing and I think it is a sign ;)

Anyways, I don't have our exact protocol or know which meds I will be taking yet, I will get those the day of our teaching visit. I have just barely started this process and already had a mini freak out today. I can really see now how IVF can be so extremely mentally and emotionally draining...and I JUST started. It truly makes me respect the women who have gone through mulitple IVF's. My hat is off to you ladies...You are my hero's!

I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!

OMG...IVF #1 is starting!!!

I went in today for my IVF consult with my RE and it is official we are starting IVF#1!! I am starting BCP's tonight! Basically it came down to start now (I am on CD 3) or wait until the clinics next series of IVF which wont be until the beginging of next year. So here we go!! I can not believe this is acutally happening, I dont even think it has really hit me yet. I feel such a sense of relief and hope just thinking that I COULD be pg next month!! The dr. said that we are on the high end of the success rate due to my age, so thats great, but again there is no garuntee that the first try will work. But I am feeling very confident about all of this for the first time ever.

The hardest part to swollow is the costs. It is going to cost us $10,050 for the IVF itself, plus another 1800-3500 for the mediacation that goes along with it. And that is for ONE try. All I can do is pray that it works.

So tomorrow I should be getting a call from the IVF coordinator who will give my schedule and dates, next monday I have my sono mock, then in the next 2-3 weeks I will have my teaching visit. I can't tell you how happy I am!!!

I can not believe this is happening, I am SOOO excited but also very nervous. This is no small procdure...we are pulling out the big guns here! IVF here we come....

IVF do You?

The RE's office called today to confirm cancelling our upcoming IUI cycle this month due to DH's last S/A results...we knew that was gonna happen. They're recommendation is that we now pursue IVF w/ICSI. I knew this was going to happen, but DH was in denial until we got the call today. He cant seem to understand how bad off we really are fertility wise, considering he was once VERY fertile. I still don't think he believes this is actually happening to us. In a way I understand that because it is a lot to take in, but I also have been conditioning myself for this the last year or so because I had a feeling all along this is where we were headed. It just sucks that we have to pay nearly 20K for something that most couples can do for free in their bedroom and have fun while doing it. Make a baby that is...

On Monday the financial advisor at our clinic will be calling to do a financial consult with us over the phone to give us more information on costs and options. It is A LOT of money we are talking here and the economy is not good right now so we'll see how that goes. After that (no date set yet) we will have a IVF consult with the Dr. to go over the time line, what it involves, and to answer any questions we may have about the process.

I am not sure exactly when we will be starting, but sometime in the near future. The last week has been VERY hard on me. I have been crying every day, sometimes 2-3 times per day. I just felt so lost and in limbo. For those that know me IRL know that I am always a very happy go lucky girl, but what you don't see is a person who's emotional state is wearing thin. I want this to be over, I want the burden of infertility to be gone, I want me back.