Strep Throat = (

Yup, I'm sick. Really sick.

This came on so suddenly! On Sunday night I went to bed feeling fine and then out of the blue that night started having a bad sore throat that kept me up all night. Yesterday I had a fever of 101+ and was in bed ALL day, which is very very rare for me. I am always on the go, so you know if I am in bed something is wrong. Well I just got back from the Dr. and sure enough I have strep throat. I told them I "could" be pregnant so I needed a antibiotic that was safe, so they prescribed me amoxicllian. Hopefully I start feeling better really soon. This is kicking my ass.

I just hope that having a fever in particular didn't hurt my chances of getting a BFP this month. Me and my DH even joked that I could be PG and this is my bodies reaction to it....rejecting it. We were totally joking though. Although you have to wonder at some point....

I am 9dpiui today and besides the illness, no symptoms. Although being as sick as I am I am sure sure if I would know or not.

Last Chance for a 2009 Baby

If I get PG this cycle my due date will be December 13, 2009! If I don't get PG this time no 2009 baby or us. I sure hope this is not the case and we will have a baby this year. My DH is a little more hopeful this cycle. I think its because I had 2 follies, which means increased odds. He also is totally convinced that we WILL have twins whenever we do get PG. I do not want twins, but would welcome the idea at this point. My goal was to have one healthy baby but I would be happy with twins. More than that....um no. I know what I am getting into and any more than 2 at a time is just too much. Kay would be thrilled however because she wants a brother and a sister.

Anyways I am 7dpiui and nothing much else to report. I have had sore bewbies, but that could be just a pre-af symptom so I don't look into that too much at this point. Come on April 4th, that's the day I am testing!

5 dpiui and Not Feeling Very Hopeful

I am pretty sure my IUI was the day AFTER I O'ed this cycle. I am pretty pissed off about it too...I sure do not feel like paying someone almost a 1,000 dollars to shoot my DH's sperm inside me if there is NO EGG in there anymore. Here's how it went down:

On CD 14 I took my OPK in the a.m. I thought it was positive, I mean it looked as close to positive as it was going to get so I took it with me to the RE's office that morning to see what they thought. Almost all the girls there thought that it was positive too. Then I showed it to the nurse and she said "Nope, still negative" and even asked her if she was sure about that and she insisted. Okay I thought, she is the expert here. They told me to trigger the next night unless my OPK was positive the next morning, then I would trigger right away and come in for my IUI on Sunday morning instead of Monday morning. Well the next morning the OPK was stark white. I started charting this cycle again and Monday (IUI day) my temp shot up, meaning I O'ed the day before. Meaning that I was right and my OPK on Friday WAS positive and I should have had my IUI on Sunday morning. For your veiwing pleasure here is a link to my chart once again.

I REALLY hope I am wrong here, or that there is still hope for this cycle. If this one is a bust we will be moving on to injectables (Follistim) next cycle, and even though I asked for it, it still freaks me out. I think because I did over stim once before on Follistim and also the fact that I HATE doing the shots. But if that's what's going to give us a baby then I will do anything.

Please pray that this cycle was not a complete waste.

This is Where My Magic Happens...Back From IUI #2!

You know on that show cribs every time they go into the bedroom they always say and this is where the magic happens as they jump on their big California king beds?

Well have a look at where MY magic happens. Romantic huh? I had IUI#2 today and everything went great. The nurse that did my IUI today did a wonderful job and I really like her. I officially have 14.4 million sperm in my uterus today. Now if all you need is ONE this shouldn't be that hard should it?

So now I welcome the 2ww and pray this is "the one"!!

I will be in San Diego this week so hopefully that will help it go by fast.

All Triggered

I set my alarm and got up at 1am to do my trigger shot. I hate having to wake up and stab myself in the stomach with a needle, its just so unnatural. Anyhow I hope I didn't screw it up because when I drew up the medication it was a whole 3-4 cc's less. So I put it back into the vial, grabbed another 3 cc's of water and mixed it in. Then it was only like 2cc's less (I guess it reconstitutes by 1 cc, and then there is always a tiny bit I cant get out with the needle). I think I was just tired and couldn't see straight so hopefully its all good. Then I proceeded to give myself the shot and once again I just couldn't do it. I was trying to avoid having to wake up my husband to do it since it was in the middle of the night. He always does my shots for me because no matter how hard I try I can never push the needle in. So needless to say he got woken up! And get this, for the first time I didn't bleed! Usually I ALWAYS bleed a little and then get a massive bruise, but I think we hit a sweet spot this time : )

All set for IUI#2 in the morning!! DH has to be there at 9:30, then I go in at 11:00! Hopefully I get pregnant tomorrow!

Welcome IComLeavWe-er's!!

Welcome to my blog! Today marks the start of the current IComLeav week, so lets get to commenting : )

If you are new to my blog here is a little about me and my journey:

My name is Lisa and I have a beautiful 4 year old (5 next month!) little girl named Kay. Me and my DH got married in October, 2007. K is from my previous relationship. I went off the pill in July of 2007 and started TTC that month...and here we are today. Still no baby. 20 months, 1 cancelled IVF, and 1 failed IUI later.

Our dx is severe MFI (low testosterone, motility, count, morph) and annovulation with PCOSish like ovaries. I have a run down of our journey in a column to the right of my blog, but long story short after my DH was on clomid with no results he switched to hcg injects and that seemed to do the trick. We had a failed IVF in Oct. 2008 (I over stimmed). We found out shortly after that that my DH now had *almost* normal sperm thanks to the hcg, everything is normal now except morph is still low. So we moved onto to clomid IUI's and I will be triggering for IUI#2 tonight. If this cycle is a bust we are moving onto injectable IUI's with Follistim.

I hope you enjoy reading my blog and hopefully become a regular commenter/reader.

Enjoy!

Rockin and Rollin..almost time to trigger!

I just got back from my u/s follie check and I have a nice 20mm on my right, and a 15mm on the left. YAY!! So I should have 2 mature follies at trigger time. I would have totally though this mornings opk was positive, but they said no so here the game plan..

Take opk in the a.m. (big possibility it will be positive) if positive trigger then and go in Sun. morning for my IUI. If negative, trigger tomorrow night at 1 AM (nothing like waking up in the middle of the night to give yourself a shot in the stomach!) for a Monday morning IUI.

I am feeling really good about this cycle and I hope this is it!!

On another note, I don't think I have mentioned this but on Monday I am supposed to leave for San Diego for a business trip and I have put off buying my plane tickets until I knew when the IUI would be. Crazy I know...so I finally was able to purchase my plane tickets thank god! Hopefully since I will be gone most of next week this 2ww will go by quick!!

Somethin's Cookin in There

I was waiting for the achy dull ovary pain to start...actually I look forward to it! It lets me know in some way that the meds are working. Last month I KNEW I would have a follie on the left ovary because that's where I was aching...and I was right. I had one 18mm at my CD 14 monitoring appointment. Well this month (starting this morning) I am achy on both sides. YAY!! I am hoping I have a nice big follie on each side at my appointment with the vag cam on Friday.

We shall see : )

Oh and I started charting again this cycle, you can click here to stalk my chart if you'd like! Still no positive opk's and that's where I want to stay until trigger time!

Oh and for those of you who are not dealing with IF, the picture above is what your ovary looks like (or at least my PCOSish ovaries) on the vag cam u/s. Those round black spots are follicles, which each hold a egg. Although the ones pictured are not mature follicles, when they are mature they are much bigger than the ones pictured. There's your daily IF lesson by Lisa : )

Let The Games Begin-CD 11

Thank god the clomid crazies are over and now it time we move onto the second half of the show which is daily OPK's starting today, CD 11. I go in on Friday morning for my follie check u/s to see what I've got cookin. Unitl then its sex and opk's BUT you gotta have at least 2-3 days abstinence before the big IUI, nothing like trying to schedule for something you have no control over.

I have a confession.

Last night I spent $82.74 at Walgreen's on opk's and pg tests. That's a lot of money! I was the crazy pg test lady in line. The best part is that when I got to the register the guy obviously knowing what I was buying said to me "so your trying for that boy huh?" with a smile on his face my reply "I'll take anything at this point" There is no shame in my game, and I surely didn't care to hide my IF from the Walgreen's guy.

The reason for my extravagant purchase? My clinic wants me to use the Walgreen's brand opk's, but since they are so hard for me to read the lines and everything I also bought the digitals (thanks for the idea Mrs. Nolan!). So if it looks like it could be positive then I will take a digital to confirm. Well then the pg tests were on sale, and a girl going through fertility treatments can never have too many of those!

The Clomid Crazies

They call the s/e from clomid the "clomid crazies" for a reason! It makes me feel like the lady pictured...like a crazy person! I have snapped at my DH at least a couple times a day followed by the sudden hot flashes! Gotta love the hot flashes, which now makes me totally sympathetic towards menopausal women. I cant imagine having them all the time. To top it off, just by nature, when I get hot I get extremely bitchy.

Please pray for those that have to live with me, only 2 more doses left.....

CD 1

Thank You God!

I called the RE's office and will be starting 100mg of clomid on Monday! Let the games begin...and lets hope that IUI#2 is the one for us : )

4:26 a.m.

That's what time I woke up this morning. With the worst cramps ever. Needless to say I couldn't go back to sleep, so here I am at 5:10am writing this post! I started spotting a little yesterday, but no AF yet and I am at CD 39 today. I am hoping the cramps means she is really on her way so we can get this show on the road.

I have had a rough couple of days on the IF front and been quite depressed about it. I don't know if its because I am stuck in limbo that's making all these feelings come back or that I am PMSing or what but it sucks. I just feel like this is never going to happen for us and I am tired of FIGHTING for something that should be our right as a married couple. I am sick of hearing people say, "Oh we're going to start trying in such in such month so we can have a spring baby" UGH does that really happen for people? These fertiles are not only extremely lucky, but they can PLAN what month they're baby will be born? I cant even get pregnant at all! I cant even imagine...

Another thing I am really sick of is people asking me when I am going to have another baby. I just want to scream ITS NOT THAT EASY PEOPLE, I have been trying for going on 2 years now!! Don't you think I want another one? Don't you think I know that Kaylee deserves a sibling? But instead I just smile and say "Oh, if it happens it happens.." and act like it doesn't bother me. And recently Kay has started drawing pictures of me with a baby in my tummy....gee you think she is trying to tell me something? I don't talk about sibling, being PG, or anything like in front of her because I don't want to lead her on. But obviously she is thinking about it, and she lets me know. She is very persistent on having a brother AND a sister and I just tell her that when god thinks the time is right he will give her one..and then she prays about it, asking god please to put a "seed" mommies tummy so she can have a brother or a sister and it just breaks my heart every.single.time. She deserves that and I can not give it to her.

I Called My RE About AF...or lack there of

And they said that if I have not started by Sunday to call them back for a prescription for provera...are you fucking kidding me??! (excuse my language, but this IS my blog : ) After a medicated IUI cyce AND progesterone suppositories, this HAS to be a joke! Even the nurse couldn't believe it. Whatever, thats my body for ya. While I was on the phone with her I found out that I wont have to go in on CD3 before starting clomid again, YAY one less visit with the vag cam. That thing gets more action than my DH ; )

My Uterus is Evil

I swear it is.

I still havent got AF! I stopped the progesterone on Thursday, have got nothing but BFN's for days now, what gives? Well....I think it is because my uterus is evil and it hates me.

No really, this is ridiculous I am on CD34!