Working More With RESOLVE

This past April I volunteered at RESOLVE's Walk of Hope to raise awareness about infertility (for those that don't know RESOLVE is The National Infertility Awareness Association). Since going through my own struggles with infertility; specifically secondary infertility myself, and male infertility with my DH this has become such a passion of mine. I almost feel responsible now to raise awareness and help others who are/have gone through the same. I mean 1 in 8 couples deal with infertility yet no one is talking about it. Why? Being there that day made me realize that I was not alone. I was in a place surrounded by people like me, who were struggling to have a family like me. It made me want to do more, so shortly after I contacted them once again and told them I wanted to help the organization in any way that I can.

Soooo next on the agenda is to help out with this years Fall Family Building Symposium, here is an excerpt from there website telling about the event:

This Novembers seminar will feature professionals from both the adoption and treatment fields to cover a variety of topics related to family building. Participants will also hear from panels of RESOLVE members that have travelled various paths to build their families and ample opportunities for questions will be provided.

Basically, the seminar will consist of 2 rooms with speakers in the morning. One discussing adoption topics and the other room talking about treatment topics. During the lunch hour there will be a "round table discussion" where you grab your lunch and actually get to sit down with a professional and ask questions. Each table will have a different topic; such as PCOS/Endo, male infertility, treatments, infertility 101, etc. Then in the afternoon, we will have a panel of members who have actually GONE THROUGH various family building techniques (someone who went through IUI/IVF, someone who had high order multiples, some one who used donor sperm/eggs) where couples can connect with other people who have gone through the same thing.

I am just so very excited to be able to help out with something that I am so deeply passionate about. Even though I am pregnant now, my infertility wounds still run deep and I will not stop fighting the fight!!

This One's All About You

One of my TTTC sister's inspired me the other day to get to know more about YOU!

So for all my readers, whats your story? Are you TTC? Happily pregnant? Having trouble TTC? Also how did you find my blog?

I'd love to know more about you all, so drop me a comment and tell me a little about you : )

16 Weeks

Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

How far along: 16 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Up 6 pounds total at last OB appt. This is going to have to be updated once a month because I am not weighing myself at home.
Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.
Stretch marks: Nope, and praying it stays that way. I got pretty big with Kay and didn't get any on my stomach so I am hoping its the same this time around.
Sleep: Has gotten a little better, not waking up like I was. But I am noticing I am more tired during the day now again though...
Best moment last week: Deciding on a girl nursery!! I have a boy one picked out that I love, but have been searching and searching for a girl one that I "love" and I finally found it! (Pics to come)
Movement: Yes, and a little more often. Still not everyday and I have to really pay attention or I could miss it.
Food cravings: Still beef....UGH. Arby's beef & cheddar still, and now In N Out Burger.
Gender: I am thinking girl!
Labor Signs: Um, no.
Belly Button in or out: Bottom part in in but very shallow and top part is out!
What I miss: The option to drink if I want to. I am not a big drinker, actually I very rarely drink but there have been a few moments this last week where a glass of wine sounded fabulous!
What I am looking forward to: My BIG u/s!!
Milestones: Picking out girl bedding and my inspiration for a baby girl nursery! YAY!

My Kinda Baby Book

If I have a little girl, she will have this in her nursery! As a matter of fact, I think I am going to order this for Kay too! Love it!

:::::runs off to find where I can buy this fabulous book:::::::

By Request

Mrs. Mya thought I should post a picture of my pre-pregnancy body just so everyone can see the comparison...well make that pre-infertility treatments too because that did quite a number on me as well.

Now you can actually see how big I am already (at least I feel that way), plus I am only 5'1 so any extra weight is really noticeable on me. Its crazy! I will get this body back....oh yes....I will!! These pictures are from last summer while on a girls weekend with Kay, her BFF, and her mom!

Me on the right

15 Week Bump Shot

Defiantly getting bigger! While taking these pics the other night my DH said "awwww honey, your belly now sticks out as far as your boobs." Speaking of boobs...I have now gone from a 34DD to a 36 E/34 F, I cant imagine how big I will be after my milk comes in. Someone call the circus...the big titty'ed freak is back!

I Have a Confession

Last week I ate a Arby's beef and cheddar sandwich 4 days in a row for lunch.


There. I said it.


Yes, I obviously feel off the vegetarian wagon and no I am not proud of it, nor did I really want to. But this baby obviously likes beef and no boca burger, veggie patty, or soy patty was cutting it. BABY WANTED BEEF! So the good mommy that I am gave it to him/her. The funny thing is is that I really don't want to eat it! I have to eat it with my eyes closed (seriously, that is not a joke. I have to eat the whole sandwich with my eyes shut!!!) because I really don't want to do it. But baby was relentless like its mother and sister and was not backing down and I couldn't take it anymore. Sooooo baby got beef.

Once I have this baby I will resume my normal vegetarianism ways.

Whew...I feel better now!

15 Weeks

Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now out measure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably still can't feel the movements.

How far along: 15 weeks..man it starting to go by fast!
Total weight gain/loss: Up 6 pounds total at last OB appt.
Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.
Stretch marks: Nope, and some nights I am forgetting my belly creams. I do them prob. 4 nights a week.
Sleep: Still crappy. I am now waking up very early in the morning and most times unable to fall back asleep. I really cant wait until this is over.
Best moment last week: Feeling him/her for the first time!
Movement: Yes, but very rarely and not everyday. Every time I have felt baby it has been in the morning, maybe baby is a morning person?

Food cravings: Orange juice, Orange Fanta, and beef.
Gender: I am thinking girl!
Labor Signs: Um, no.
Belly Button in or out: In, but half way out! The top portion is almost level with the rest of my stomach. On another note, my linea nigra is baaaccckkkkk! Its funny because when I was pg with Kay it was what I called the "cyclone" around my belly button, because my line was not straight..it kinda swirls around my belly button and then continues down. Its back and looks the exact same as when I was pg with her.
What I miss: Not a thing, I love being pregnant : )
What I am looking forward to: My BIG u/s!!
Milestones: Narrowing down SOME names I like. We are having the hardest time even getting a list together at all. If I like it, he doesn't but wont give any suggestions himself...very frustrating!

August 10th

Is the BIG day!

I go for my second trimester scan and we will find out the gender! It's less than a month away, I cant believe it. The second time around really is much much different than the first. With the first, you spend all your time thinking about having your baby, getting ready for baby, etc. This time around I am so busy running Kay everywhere, the house, and work, that I hardly have time to think about it.

When I was pg with her it went by SO slow. It felt like she was never going to get here. This time it feels like its just flying by and honesty I don't like that. I want to enjoy and savor every moment, because this will more than likely be the last time I will ever be pregnant again.

Note to self:

:::::make time to stop and smell the pg roses::::::::

14 Weeks

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

How far along: 14 weeks 1 day

Total weight gain/loss: Up 6 pounds total

Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.

Stretch marks: Nope, and some nights I am forgetting my belly creams. I do them prob. 4 nights a week.

Sleep: Still kind of crappy. I am now waking up very early in the morning and most times unable to fall back asleep.

Best moment last week: Hearing the babies hb with the doppler

Movement: I know this may sound crazy to some of you, and maybe some of the second times moms will get it but I swear I felt a little tap (not even a real tap, I really cant describe it) the other day. It has only happened twice but I know that feeling and I am pretty sure that was baby.

Food cravings: Orange juice still!! I ant get enough! Oh and Orange Fanta still also.

Gender: I am hoping the tech was right and its a girl!

Labor Signs: Um, no.

Belly Button in or out: In, but half way out! The top portion in almost level with the rest of my stomach.

What I miss: Not feeling huge in a bikini.

What I am looking forward to: Planning/starting the nursery!

Milestones: I cant think of anything at the moment...maybe not feeling sick as much. I know I posted about feeling like a whole new woman, and for the most part I do compared to how I was feeling. But I puked twice this week and have had a few days of all day sickness. This pregnancy has been SO different than with Kay! Its a whole new experience for me : )

It Still Isn't Over...

Our fertility issues that is, and I guess will never really be. Even though I am pregnant now, we still will never have the option to conceive that most couples do. Its still really hard for me to accept that we will never have that option. I am still bitter and I still carry that around with me everyday. I hope that someday I will find a way to accept that. So onto my real post....

Once again, I have to start out by saying THANK YOU GOD that I got pregnant when I did!! because if we were still trying now (at least with IUI's), our chances would be much lower. For some reason my DH's sperm as gotten progressively worse since our BFP despite still being on the HCG these last 3 months.

He went in today to leave his final "donation" and just since the last time (which was about a month ago) his count was 50% less, motility was still only 26% and over all the sample was worse than the last. I just done get it. Maybe this is the way it was all supposed to work out? I don't know, but it is puzzling to me.

One thing that surprised me was that at the clinic they will always freeze 1 test vial. A vial that they will thaw after freeze to see how things defrost, etc. I didn't even know they did this, so I was excited to know what the results were from the first test thaw. Well it wasn't good, 2.4 million. With any insemination they like to have at least 5 million sperm per attempt. So basically if we ever wanted to try IUI's again we will have about 2 tries and that's it. Of course we would be fine if we wanted to pursue IVF with the frozen sperm! But again, we don't have coverage for that and I know in my heart that DH will not be willing to spend 10,000 + dollars after we have already had a healthy child together. I just know he wont.

Yes, I know...this is all just in case and if I want another one...I know I may have this child and feel complete. But what if I don't? Its not like we can just decide to have another one like most couples, ya know?

UGH....I hate infertility!!

Because Babies Need Stuff

I have started looking more seriously into baby gear and so far this is what I have come up with. I still need to test drive and look some of these items in person, but these are things I like so far!

Lets start with strollers:

The Bumbleride Indie stroller. There is a infant seat adaptor bar so I can buy just about any infant seat I chose and it will work with this stroller:

The Peg Perego Switch. I love this one because as shown in the pic below the handles are reversible, so baby can face you or away from you! Love that! check out the link for other uses.

Now onto bedding!

Here are a few boy options that I like. I have noticed that I don't like a lot of the kiddie looking prints, rather more modern or simple ones.

This one is from Pottery Barn:

Love the look of this one from Restoration Hardware, the whole look here really makes it:

This bedding and look is so adorable and soothing, including the crib (its one of my favs):

Girl options:

I really like this set, I have seen it in person and it is SO beautiful and unique! The swirls are velvet and it is really rich looking:

And this one...very feminine and again very plush looking:

Finally, this one from Restoration Hardware (love the satin!):

Lastly, here are some cribs I like, again just really started looking. I have not decided on anything yet, but I do know that the crib will be a dark espresso finish as the ones pictured below.

Not sure who makes this one:

The Tribeca collection by Bedford:

The Munire Newport collection:

The Bonavita Cabana collection:

So I would love some feedback from you all! Especially if any of you have any experience with any of these items/brands!!

NT Scan Results

Everything came back negative, YAY! Risks for Downs Syndrome went from 1/960 based on age alone to 1/1295 based on my u/s and blood work, so that's great news! My risk for trisomy 13 and 18 is 1/31,000. So good news all the way around.

I also had an OB appt. today and got to hear the baby's heart beat with the doppler, nice and strong! I haven't gained any more weight since my last appointment (thank god) and everything is moving right on track. 5 more weeks until my big u/s, and for someone who had a u/s every 2 weeks (literally!) 5 weeks is a very long time to wait to see baby again. But momma will have to be patient! This is all becoming so real to me now, and I feel like I can kind of relax...at least a little : )

Hello second trimester!!

13 Weeks

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)

How far along: 13 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: Was weighed at my NT scan on Monday and I was the same (up 6 pounds total)
Maternity clothes: Yes, and because its so hot here I am wearing lots of dresses!
Stretch marks: Nope, and still slathering up every night.
Sleep: Terrible. I have been waking up in the middle of the night for no reason at all and staying up a few hours. It sucks and I hope it stops soon.
Best moment last week: Our NT scan
Movement: Too soon
Food cravings: Orange juice still.
Gender: I am hoping the tech was right and its a girl
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out: In, but changing!
What I miss: my old sense of smell. I swear I could work for the police with this nose.
What I am looking forward to: My OB appt. on Monday.
Milestones: Just about getting to the second trimester! (3 more days)

A Whole New Woman

I am happy to report that as of the last 4-5 days I have been morning/all day sickness free!! It feels WONDERFUL! I had it all along, but at first it would come and go and would not be everyday. Well it got really bad around 9 1/2 - 10 weeks. I was sick all day, everyday for the last 2 weeks and it really takes a toll on you! My DH could not even say certain words without it literally making me gag, one in particular: herbs. The words herbs made me so sick. lol. Not really complaining, because I will gladly take on any symptom!! I am just so happy to be pg, but it was no fun for a few weeks there.

Also, I am not nearly as tired anymore either. Just like with Kay right around the start of the second tri all those symptoms are going away. Now its time to move onto the "great feeling" second trimester : ) Wooohooooo, I'm almost there!