Monday, November 8, 2010

The Gap

I know all I did throughout my whole TTTC journey was bitch, complain, and talk about how unfair it was that my children were going to be spaced so far apart and how I never wanted this large of a gap, etc. but there really are some great advantages to it also! I have met many people along the way that have actually planned to space their children out 4+ years on purpose for these very reasons....
  • Miss M gets the same attention and one on one time that Kay did because she's at school most of the day. Which also means I don't feel guilty about giving one more attention than the other when they were babies.
  • Kay is a great helper in many ways. That extra set of eyes and hands is really helpful sometimes (also my worst enemy at times too...)
  • They don't compete for my attention because they have totally different needs.
  • Kay understands that sometimes the baby needs me at certain times and she's at an age where she fully understands that and doesn't get upset, or act out, etc.
  • Miss M gets the best of both worlds- my undivided attention during the day PLUS a sibling!
  • I got a chance to really bond with Kay over the years (alone) and cherish those moments dearly. We made some great great memories, just her and I. Now we have a fabulous family of four.
  • Kay is a wonderful teacher to her sister and its teaching her to me a great role model too! 
  • I only have to wipe 1 butt besides my own. 
  • Kay is very self sufficient, she can feed herself, pour her own drink, wash her own hands, brush her own teeth, and dress herself.
  • Kay is very very proud of her little sister- she waited a long time for this too!
  • Because I have been through it all before through the years, I am much more relaxed in my role as a mother. I've been puked on, peed on, bit, slapped, and pooped on. I've been through ear infections, roseola, stomach flues, colds, viruses, coughs, fevers, eczema, constipation, night terrors, teething, bullying, preschool, potty training, trips to the ER, AND I've swallowed spit up! Nothing can take me down this time! 
  • Miss M is Kay's live baby doll, which is really fun for both of them!
Even though this isn't how I "planned" it, this is how it worked out. That was out of my control and it really took me a long time to accept that. But now that I have, and although I still would prefer to have them a little closer, I do enjoy the gap now. I really do.


Ann and Chris Armenta said...

As much as I want one now, this little insight has helped ease me into the possibility that my kids age gap wont be as close as I want them to be.

Dana said...

I'm one of the ones who "planned" on a large gap between kids. It's also a plus that so far I haven't had to deal with them fighting. I know that would be a different story if they were closer in age. Also for me in those 5 years before Aubrey, I matured a lot. My parenting knowledge/skills/decisions have improved drastically and I think both girls are better off for it!