Favorite Thing: Sandwich Thins!

Have you seen/tried these? When I ran into these Oroweat Sandwich Thins at the grocery store I was intrigued and decided to give them a try! They are thinner than a hamburger bun (you know I have been eating a lot of these lately!), but thicker than a tortilla. They almost look like pita pockets, but they are not. They are just like really thin buns. Best part? They are only 100 calories! I have been eating them in place of my regular buns, for example today for lunch I had a soy chicken patty, provolone, and ranch sandwich on one of these and it was delish! They can be used to make mini pizza's, for sandwich buns, or toast them for a snack or serve them along side breakfast. Click on the link above for some other yummy recipes!

21 Weeks

Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.

How far along: 21 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: Up 11 pounds total from my last OB appt. I'm going again on wed. so we'll see how much I've gained since last month.

Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.

Stretch marks: :::::hear no evil, see no evil:::::: none yet!

Sleep: Overall, much better than the previous weeks.

Best moment last week: Finding out my BFF is pregnant too!!

Movement: Yes, and getting stronger too.

Food cravings: Still beef (this week its been a meatball sub, which I still haven't got), orange juice, and white cherry frosties.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: No, and I hope not for a loooong time.

Belly Button in or out: Still the same...popping out at the top and starting too at the bottom.

What I miss: My old nose. Seriously. The constant allergy sniffly, sneezy, tickly, runny/stuffy nose sucks. Its really bad this morning.

What I am looking forward to: Cleaning out the spare bedroom-soon-to-be-nursery today. It has a bed, etc. for guests, but has also turned into a junk/storage room.

Milestones: Making it to the half way point.

Q & A

Here are some questions I have been getting, so here's a little Q & A with yours truly:

Do you have a name picked out?

I get asked this daily...and although I would love to say "Yes, it is..." I am married to a very difficult man...lol. First it was "wait until your pregnant then we'll talk about it", then it was "wait until your out of the first tri" then, "wait until we know what were having then we will discuss it", and can you guess what he is saying now??? "We can always wait until she's born and pick a name then". Umm NO, we cant! I came to him with a list of my favorites name and he vetoed all but one, and that one was not my fav. So no one is budging yet and she remains nameless! Pray for me, I just might strangle him.

What are your cravings?

Well for my regular readers, you all know I was a vegetarian until I became pregnant and then all hell broke loose. I threw it all away because of an intense craving for a Wendy's Cheeseburger that would not let up and ever since then beef is where its at. I'm not eating chicken, or pork..but beef is what for dinner around here these days! Each week it is different...first is was burgers, then hot dogs, the roast beef sandwiches, and this week its meatballs! I have never in my life ordered a roast beef sandwich or a meatball sub. Ever!But baby wants it, and what she wants, she shall receive! And yes, I plan on resuming my vegetarian ways after baby is born.

What stretch mark creams/oils are you using?

When I was pg with Kay, I used the Palmers Cocoa Butter every day/night on my tummy and didn't get one stretch mark. This time, I've tried using it and cant stand the way it feels...it makes me feel dirty and the smell bothers me too, so I have been using Mama Mio Tummy Rub Butter, and recently just purchased the Tummy Rub Oil. These products smell amazing and don't just sit on the top of your skin like other lotions/oils. It really soaks in and so far so good!

Do you like being pregnant?

I don't like being pregnant....I LOVE IT! If you had asked me that when I was pg with Kay, you might have gotten a different answer. But after all the struggles of infertility and realizing what an amazing gift pregnancy is that most people take for granted, I love it! I love it all...all the sickness, aches, pains, fatness, mood swings, runny/stuffy/sneezy nose that I have that wont go away, huge national geographic nipples, veins in places I didn't know I had veins, meat cravings, shitty sleep, heart burn, indigestion, having to pee every 5 min., feeling hot and it making me more bitchy, low back pain, being out of breath all the time, and swearing that I will be bald by the time I have this baby because of all the hair I lose on a daily basis. I really don't mind any of it..and take it all as a blessing.

Can you feel her move? Does she move a lot? etc.

Yes, I can feel her moving and now that she is bigger, I feel her a lot more often now too. I SAW her move from the outside for the first time the other day and that's always fun. She is always awake in the middle of the night and first thing in the am. Then after breakfast she takes a little snooze and starts kicking again around lunch time. She puts on an after dinner show, then its time to sleep again until 2am! We have a night owl on our hands. DH still has not felt her move, every time he puts his hand to my belly she stops...same for Kay. Hopefully soon though they'll catch her though.

Are you going to breastfeed?

This is a very personal topic but I will share in hopes that any of my readers that are "breast is best" wont judge me.

When I was pg with Kay, I fully planned on breast feeding. To the point where I didn't have any bottles, didn't even think about bottle feeding, etc. I was breast feeding, end of story. What I didn't know as a first time mom is that sometimes your baby may have other plans....When she was born she latched right on! Anytime I need help getting her to latch properly I would call the lactation consultant and she would come and help and everything was going fine. She had mentioned that I had a "barracuda baby" (a fierce sucker) and one that always wanted to eat, and boy was she not kidding! My milk came in a few days later and I had an abundant supply (in spite of having breast implants which may or may not interfere with milk production).

We went home and I continued my efforts despite her wanting to eat every 45 minutes for 35 minutes at a time. Think about that?!! That's all I was doing. Breast feeding. All day/night long. It got to the point where when she would latch on my whole body would tense up, I would literally shake from the pain of her latching on because my nipples were so raw from her constant sucking. I would cry as she nursed, in the worst pain, but I was breast feeding! 2 weeks later and there was no nipple cream, pad, shield or cover that could help me. My nipples were bleeding, pussing, cracked, and scabbed. They were in BAD shape! I went to the Dr. and I had developed a bad infection in both nipples. I HAD to stop. Yes, I could continue with pumping, but at that point I was done. I was really upset about it, cried about it many nights as I took of the binding wraps watching my milk drip on to the floor thinking what a waste is was, but I just couldn't even fathom the though of ANYTHING touching my nipples. The first time Kay had formula she smiled...and for the first time she was full.

Needless to say, it took 6 months for my nipples to return to normal and I was scarred from that whole experience. So, this time I do not plan to breast feed. I have struggled with this decision because I am an advocate of breast feeding. And yes, I know each baby is different and it may work out perfectly fine this time around, but I am pretty firm with my decision that now formula feeding from the start is whats best for me. I do feel guilty sometimes about not even wanting to try, about not giving this baby a chance, and I may change my mind, but for now this is where I stand.

Best Pregnancy Bra EVER!

Today I stopped by Motherhood Maternity and A Pea In The Pod to buy some more belly cream and decided to check out the bras they had. I did buy 2 new bras a few weeks ago, but I have discovered that because of the size of my boobs now (36EE!) they just aren't comfortable. It really sucks and has been a challenge to say the least.

Anyways, I tried on this little number, and yes I know its not the cutest thing in the world but I seriously could live in it! Comfortable just doesn't do it justice, and it is something that I can wear after baby too. I just wanted to share what I consider a little gift from the pregnancy gods! Oh and for those that plan to nurse, they make it in a nursing bra as well.

20 Week Belly Pic!

So it turns out I am not very good at taking these regularly, but I went to have my DH take a new belly pic tonight only to find out that my camera wont even turn on. Its been on its last leg for a while, but now I officially need a new one. SO I had to take it with my phone, better than nothing right? Anyways, here is my belly now at 20 weeks 2 days. It has really grown a lot in the last week or two!

Oh and dontcha just love Kay's purple walls in her bathroom?Her favorite color of course!

20 Weeks

Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, speaking of the diaper situation... baby's genitals are now fully formed!

How far along: 20 weeks- Half way there!
Total weight gain/loss: Up 11 pounds total from my last OB appt. and something is going on because all of a sudden this week I am HUNGRY all the time.
Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.
Stretch marks: Nope, and hope it stays that way too! Buttering up every night.
Sleep: Better this week, thank god. I have stopped waking up in the middle of the night for hours, and when I get up to pee I can pretty much go back to sleep. I still sleep restlessly though...tossing/turning most of the night.
Best moment last week: Buying her first outfits.
Movement: Yes, and I love it! There is nothing to describe how awesome it is to feel your baby move inside you. It just blows me away. We are trying to get DH to feel her, but every time he puts his hand there, she stops : )
Food cravings: Still beef, orange juice, and white cherry frosties.
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: No, and I hope not for a loooong time.
Belly Button in or out: Still the same...popping out a little.
What I miss: Feta cheese on my greek salad & blue cheese on my spinach salads. They just aren't the same without those cheeses.
What I am looking forward to: Picking out and ordering her furniture.
Milestones: Kay starting kindergarten!!

Nursery Ideas!!

So this is my inspiration picture. I love it! Love the grey, love the pink, love the vintage feel, and LOVE the chandelier!!

Here is the bedding I ordered..It is Dwell Studio Blossom Garden, and the moment I saw it I knew it was "the one"! I ended up getting it 50.00 off, so I jumped at the deal.

A close up of the pattern

I plan on painting the room a very soft grey color like the one pictured below. With accents of pale baby pink and white throughout the room.

I would also love to put a tree on one of the walls like this one. Love that look and think it will go very well with my bedding/decor ideas.

So now that you have seen my ideas, I need your help! The nursery is very long and narrow..like 9x 11 or so (this is just a guess I could be way off). Anyways, its a very awkward small room. I am trying to decided if I should go with white furniture now instead of the espresso color that I was originally going to get? Do you think the dark furniture would just make it look smaller? Should I go all white to keep it bright? Or dark to contrast? What do you think?

First Day of Kindergarten

Started off like this, look at the sad/scared face (she had been crying all morning)..it seriously broke my heart!

But thankfully ended up like this!!

It was defiantly an emotional filled day that didn't start off so well. Kay, the night before, started to get nervous. Normal night before first day of "real" school jitters I thought, and she'll be fine in the morning. Well...that didn't happen. She was not fine in the morning, and DID NOT WANT to go to school. I mean, absolutely, positively, didn't want to go!! She was scared, wanted to stay with me, wanted to run errands with mommy, nervous to eat in the lunch room, wanted me to pick her up if she didn't like it..etc. etc. It really broke my heart to her her screaming crying while blocking the front door saying "Mommy I don't want to go, I just want to stay with you!" Because now, by law, I HAD to take her.

This was all so not like her. Kay is not shy one little bit, and doesn't suffer from any form of separation anxiety..as a matter of fact she is very outgoing and quite the social butterfly, so I knew it was all "fear of the unknown".

Once we got there, she was still a nervous wreck and opted to stay with me rather than go play on the playground with the other kids (which, again surprised me). I walked to to her class room when the bell rang to have a brief sort of orientation with the other parents/kids and her teacher. She sat on my lap and sobbed quietly. It was so hard for me to hold back the tears myself, because there was really nothing I could do or say to ease her fears at that moment.

After that, they took the class to the science room while the parents finished up. She went right along, no problems and just like that...with just a little distraction, she was fine! As a matter of fact, when they were headed back into the class room a little while later as I was leaving I stopped to see if she was okay and give her a kiss good bye. Her reply to me? "Ugh, hurry up mom!" Geez, sorry for cramping your style!! That was it. She didn't need me anymore. So I left, with tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe the day had finally come.

When I picked her up she was nothing but smiles and told me how much she loved it and how nice her teacher was, and how I was right and it was not scary at all. I was so thankful for that because one of the kids in the other class was STILL crying from when his dad left earlier that morning.

Anyways- I/we survived!! And although it was a painful beginning, it ended up great!

19 Weeks

Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might actually get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature.

How far along: 19 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up 11 pounds total from my last OB appt.

Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.

Stretch marks: Nope, and hope it stays that way too!

Sleep: Still fucking terrible. Now instead of being up from 4:00-6:00 am every night, I am up from 1:00-3:00 am. Great.

Best moment last week: Seeing our baby at our big u/s and finding out were having another girl!

Movement: Yes, and I love it! Starting to feel kicks and jabs, rather than just flutters, etc. Also felt her for the first time from the outside this week!

Food cravings: Beef, specifically roast beef this week.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: No, and I hope not for a loooong time.

Belly Button in or out: Starting to pop out. Kay asked me the other day if that was the baby's finger that was causing my belly button to poke out...too funny!

What I miss: A full nights sleep...without waking up, although I am starting to think this will never happen.

What I am looking forward to: Starting her nursery, and buying baby stuff!

Milestones: Getting our bedding, this was huge for me since I was having such a hard time. Although it is not what I was expecting (color wise), I still love it and am now trying to change my vision to accommodate it. I promise I will add pics soon!!

It's Gone...

The Green Paper Bag that is!!

I have now donated the last of my leftover fertility drugs, so there was no need for it anymore. Yesterday, as I was shipping off the last box of follistim to a lovely nestie in Texas who is starting IVF # 3 (the lucky number 3 I might add!) before I handed the box to the UPS man, I rubbed the box on my protruding pregnant belly for some good luck and quietly said a prayer for her. I am sure the UPS man thought I was a complete nut job, but hey anything to help out a fellow TTTC'er! All I could think of is that I hope in some way I have helped someone else complete their dreams of becoming a mother. Because no amount of money, or having to pay all out of pocket for fertility treatments should stand in the way of that dream!!

Oh....and it's nice to have that part of my fridge back too : ) I hadn't seen it in so long!

Back From BIG u/s and...

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

Face in 3D

Her "girl" parts..heehee

Profile

Her foot

Spine-so neat!

Wow, I cant say enough how excited we are!! The u/s itself was cool, our little princess was once again in an odd position and had her hand covering her face most of the time. We got a good money shot though, so no surprises here!! She was measuring a little ahead at 18 weeks 6 days, and her heart rate was steady at 154!

On the flip side, after going over all the measurements and pictures we met with the Dr. One of the baby's kidneys was a little fuller than normal with fluid, we are talking a very small amount more of 1mm more fluid than the other. It could just be a fluke, or that the babies kidney's are still developing, but it also could be a blockage of some sort. It also very slightly increased our odds for downs syndrome, but he was really not concerned about this because there are no other markers and all the measurements from my NT scan came back great.

Like I said, he was really not overly concerned about this at all and neither are we. I will see my regular OB in 3 more weeks and she what she says about it, but either way we will just take a look at it again at our next u/s to check on it!

I actually had a similar situation when I was pg with Kay. At my big u/s they discovered a small clot on my placenta. They wanted to keep an eye on it because if it had grown it could have cut off all blood and oxygen to her. So after weeks and weeks of worrying that she was suffocating in there, at the next u/s it was gone!! So I am going to try not and worry about this, as it could be nothing. Oh and I promised myself that I will NOT google it : )

18 Weeks

Your fetus has become amazingly mobile (at least compared to you), passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that you'll be able to feel those movements soon.

How far along: 18 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: Up 11 pounds total...yikes.
Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.
Stretch marks: Nope
Sleep: Fucking terrible. I haven't slept through the night in I don't know how long, and the middle of the night up for 2-3 hours has returned : (
Best moment last week: Kay talking and having full on conversations with her baby brother or sister through my tummy. It is so cute, I think next time I will video tape it!
Movement: Yep, and getting stronger too!
Food cravings: Beef (I have given up on this craving ever going away), white cherry frosties
Gender: I have been thinking more and more that it could be a boy.
Labor Signs: Um, no.
Belly Button in or out: Starting to pop out!
What I miss: A full nights sleep...without waking up!!
What I am looking forward to: Seeing our little baby tomorrow! Cant wait!! Just praying everything is normal and perfect....and just cant wait to see him/her in action again.
Milestones: No longer being able to see my girl parts...not sure if that is a "milestone" or not...hahahahaha.

A Whole New Chapter: Kindergarten!

I cant believe for one second that my baby is getting ready to start kindergarten in less than 2 weeks!! Where did the last 5 years go? The whole thing just makes me so sad. I feel like that once she starts kindergarten that that's it...its over, life as we know will totally change and before you know it she will be 18 and leaving for college. Okay okay, that's a little extreme, but I do feel that way to an extent. No more lunch dates with my mini me, no more week day play dates or morning trips to the park, or waking up and saying "what are we going to do today Kay?" She will be gone everyday from 8:30-2:30 M-F!

I used to dream about the days of free child care, but now that its here its too much. Yes, she went to preschool but that was only 3 mornings a week and she was not required to go. And yes I am sure being a hormonal pregnant mess is not helping at all here...I mean I cried buying school supplies the other day! What am I going to be like on the first day of school? Yes, I will be "that" mom! Taking a thousand pictures, kissing her goodbye, and crying in my car all the way home.

I watched her sleep the other night just imagining her back as a little baby. She still has the same baby face when she sleeps. All nice and snuggled up, I imagined what she will look like when she is grown up, and how fast the years have gone by and how I cant possibly imagine loving something or someone else as much as I love her. I know I will when the baby comes, and I already love this baby so much but its hard to imagine loving something else as much as her. She is my life and has been from the moment she was born. I tell her all the time that she is my best friend and she really is!

So my first born is off to kindergarten!! Bottom line: it should be illegal for that to happen when you are pregnant because I cried writing this entire post! I'm a wreck!

Happy 2nd Annual 25th Birthday To Me!!

Yes, its my birthday today! The big 27!

17 Weeks

Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

How far along: 17 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up 6 pounds total at last OB appt. Will update on Monday after my OB appt. I am sure I have gained a few more pounds.

Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity now.

Stretch marks: Nope, and I have started using my creams every night again now that I am getting bigger.

Sleep: Shitty. Back to up a few times a night and tossing and turning.

Best moment last week:

Movement: Yes, and it was getting a little tiny bit stronger and a little more often, but I have not felt anything in a few days (although I know that can be normal at this point) but of course I am freaking out. Monday cant come quick enough.

Food cravings: Beef and honey nut cheerios this week

Gender: Who knows, I'd be happy with either. We'll see in 9 days!

Labor Signs: Um, no.

Belly Button in or out: Bottom part in in but very shallow and top part is out!

What I miss: Being able to fit into my normal cloths.

What I am looking forward to: My OB appt. on Monday, and my u/s the next Monday.

Milestones: Getting this far!