A Message From Miss M

I'll translate for that for ya...she said "Have a great weekend everyone!"

Secondary Infertility

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I thought I would talk about my struggle with secondary infertility. The goal here is to sort of spread some light on the topic. Secondary infertility is where you have no problems conceiving your first child, but have troubles conceiving your second, or third child and so on. It's sort of like the ghost in the night kind of infertility, because since you've had a child you think your okay, and that you wont have problems when you go TTC again. I wasn't even aware of secondary infertility until I was faced with it. And even then I was in complete and utter shock that we couldn't have a child together, being that we both had kids before we met. So you can imagine what a surprise it was when we tried to have a baby together and couldn't. We were totally blindsided.

For me, Kay was a surprise pregnancy. She is the result of a wild and crazy camping trip where a lot of alcohol and little discretion were involved. They were best friends as a matter of fact. I was wreckless, careless, and irresponsible. But in hindsight she was a blessing in disguise and one that I am forever grateful for. To say that I've had a surprise pregnancy now is very hard for me to admit, because once you face infertility you grow to hate people who can just have "opps" pregnancies. And that was me. But that was me then. Not now. And what I didn't know then is that things can change. Once a fertile, is not always a fertile in some cases.

My Husband on the other hand, got married very young (22) and had 2 kids, 2 years apart, right away. So no problems there. They were married for 7 years before they split and because he got married so young (they were also high school sweethearts) he decided to soil his oats, plant his seed, spread his wings, whatever you want to call it, because he never really got a chance to do that. The result of that were 2 other pregnancies through those years. One had an abortion, one had a miscarriage. Yep, still fertile in case anyone's counting.

And then a few (10, but who's counting) years pasted by and then we met. Kay was only 15 months old at that time. We got engaged a year after that, talked about having a baby together once we got married, and planned our wedding for a year and a half later. Perfect planning in our eyes. I was going to do it right this time. The kids would be 3 1/2-4 years apart and we would live happily ever after. Except, the road to happily ever after isn't always a smooth one...

I'll never forget the day I took my last birth control pill. It was a smoldering July day here in Phoenix. It was exactly 3 months before our wedding because we wanted to "time" it perfectly so we would be pregnant right after we got married. HA! My then fiance said to me that day..."Watch out, you'll be pregnant in a week! If you sit to close to me in church you'll get knocked up" He even questioned stopping birth control 3 months before our wedding in fear that I might be pregnant on the big day and not able to enjoy it fully. Boy....what we didn't know then. We were giddy, excited, ready to start our life together. This was us before infertility.

The months had pasted with no BFP, but for now neither of us were worried. We were realistic with our expectations. During this time DH was diagnosed with low testosterone and was given a testosterone gel supplement. His PCP at that time ensured us that this would have no impact on his fertility knowing that we were trying to have a baby. Boy what I would give to see him in a dark alley now...

That was the beginning of what would turn out to be months and months of emotional turmoil trying to make things right with him. After much research, I quickly discovered that not only was low testosterone a cause for male infertility, but that any testosterone therapy is essentially like male birth control. It causes sperm production to hault. So all those months of trying, we were really preventing. I told you I could kill that doctor. He stopped taking the testosterone gel and I immediately made an appointment with the top male infertility expert in Phoenix. I also started charting during this time to get some reassurance that something was okay, only to discover that my body was failing me too. Great.

So there we were. 2 adults, each with children, and infertile.

How does that happen? And why? We researched all of the SART data, looked at each clinics statistics, compared each clinics % of patients with male infertility, and chose an RE (or a reproductive endocrinologist AKA a infertility Dr.) and I was devastated. Completely and utterly devastated. My husband was in denial at first, he simply couldn't believe the HE was infertile. HE, the one who could look at a person a get them pregnant was now unable to conceive. It was a tough pill to swallow, and we are still in amazement of what it took for us to have Miss M given our prior history. ***If you want to read how we got here from there you can click here, or click the tab on my header titled "How We Got Here" to read a detailed account of our journey to getting pregnant.***

This post isn't meant to scare any of my mommy readers out there who are first time moms that are looking to expand your family in the future, because hopefully none of you will ever have to experience secondary infertility. But this was more to make people aware that infertility isn't just about the childless couple who cant conceive. Infertility can be that mom at the park with her 3 year old, the mom who's sending her child off to kindergarten hoping and praying that she will get to do this again, or the healthy looking couple with a child already. That was me. I was a mom, but I was also infertile.

To read more about secondary infertility, or if you think you might be experiencing secondary infertility go here for more information. Or if you just need support or some encouraging words, you can email me at MrsLisaP@gmail.com.

Wordless Wednesday

At the park...

Dinner at our house...notice the beautiful centerpiece.

 

Getting on the school bus for Kay's field trip...who was more excited, me or the kids?

Kay getting ready for school. Her and these skirts! She has a bunch of these and wears them all the time. Its funny because the moms at school will be like "Oh how cute, is that one of her dance things?" Um nope, this is her normal attire people :)

New Purchases

This weekend Miss M hit the jackpot and got a few new fun things. First, I got her a Evenflo Triple Fun Jungle Excersaucer; which is really cool because later it breaks down into a activity table. We haven't put it together yet, but I am looking forward to see how M likes it as she grows and how much fun she is going to have in this thing. I wanna crawl in there, it looks quite entertaining!

I got her a new teether, a Nuby Softee "Hand". I thought she would really like this because it has the different fingers to chew on. Plus each finger has a different texture. It's soft and comes with a nifty carrying case! Hey, it's the little things that excite me ;)

And even though she isn't quite eating solids yet, I went ahead and bought these, Baby Cubes Storage Containers. I plan on making and pureeing most of Miss M's baby food, and love that these were individual containers with attached lids. There are so many options for baby food storage, but I liked the idea of these best. Because if we are on the go (which is often with an older child and a business to run), I can just grab one and go! I bought a set of the 1 oz. and a set of the 2 oz. so we'll how they work out once we actually start using them :) But I'm excited!

And because I couldnt forget about myself, and because I am a little obsessed with staying young, I picked up some Lancome GENIFQUE. I have never used this product before, but I use their moisterizer and love it. This is a serum you put on under your daily moisterizer. And thats what I need, something simple that I can work into my daily routine already. I have learned my lesson before by spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of products, for them only to sit there and never get used. So I hope it does what it says and "activates" my youthfulness. And its really fun to say... just sayin.

Favorite Things: Bountiful Baskets!

A few weeks ago I got hooked on this food co-op! It it is totally my new favorite thing right now. Since my diet is mostly produce based, it works great for me and my family since I spend a small fortune each week on fresh produce. So what is is exactly? Basically, it's a way to get mostly local, high quality fruits and veggies for a great price. The baskets generally have 6 fruit items & 6 vegetable items, but the kicker is you don't know what your going to get when you place your order....hence the exciting part! I swear I am like a kid on Christmas waiting until Saturday morning to see what this weeks selections were. It's an exciting process! They pick whatever is fresh and in season that week, and that's what you get! Fun huh? You place your contribution ($15 for a conventional basket or $25 for an organic basket) every Tuesday at noon - Wednesday at 10:00 pm (it varies from state to state) and then you select your pick up location for the Saturday morning pickup. Here is a picture of this weeks basket:

Contents this week where:

1 bag of red potatoes

1 bag of apples

Blackberries

A huge bunch of bananas

1 bag of baby carrots

6 tomatoes

1 swiss chard

1 bunch of spinach

1 head of romaine lettuce

1 bunch of celery

1 pineapple

1 cantaloupe

All that for 15 dollars! It's unbeatable. This particular co-op, Bountiful Baskets, is available in a few other states too, so you might want to check it out. If not, I highly suggest finding something similar in your area! It is a great way to get fresh (mostly local) produce for a great price. Plus it's a lot of fun : ) I mean where else can you get that much produce for 15 dollars?

Oh and you don't actually get a basket. They have each persons produce in baskets lined up at the pick up site, but you have to bring your own reusable bags, box, or laundry basket to get your stuff home.

National Infertility Awareness Week

Kicks off today! So click here to join the movement and help raise awareness in support of the 7.3 million Americans still struggling infertility, because it is a disease!!! And because 1 in 8 is someone you know!!

Operation Get Skinny: My Tips and Tricks

I've lost 3 more pounds since my last Operation Get Skinny post 10 days ago. How did I do that might you ask? Well I am going to tell you my friends! In addition to the weight loss tips I posted here a while back (which are all still great tips to follow and rules to live by), I am going to share with you some other tips and tricks I use to Get Skinny! Because it is not easy to lose weight. Not easy at all. As a matter of fact, it's like a war against weight. A daily battle, one that takes much thought and will power. So anything I find that works or makes things easier I am willing to share! 1.) Because I'm nice and 2.) I am not one to pretend that I am one of "those" bitches who's weight is just magically falling off...because that's not the case at all! I've worked and continue to work very hard everyday to get back to my pre pregnancy, pre infertility weight!

Tip # 1: Clean Eating is a MUST!

What do I mean by clean eating exactly? I mean a diet filled mostly with fresh produce and lean proteins (and not just animal protein, there are lots of other protein sources!) You want to avoid processed foods as much as possible, so no pre packaged frozen meals! I know I know, they are easy and convenient, but they really aren't good for you. You also want to avoid foods with a high fat to calorie ratio, and mostly importantly carbs and sugar. Consider carbs the devil when dieting. The only carbs that are okay or brown rice, whole wheat toast, or whole wheat pasta. Even then I would keep a very close eye on the frequency of eating these and your portions.

• Rice should be no more than 1/2 cup and pasta 1 cup, and no more than once per day- if that! I am eating carbs maybe every other day right now.
• You want to cut out all crackers and processed snacks as much as possible.
• Snacks should really be fresh fruits or veggies, low fat cheese, cottage cheese, raw nuts, a healthy granola mix, or something of that nature.
• Watch using high fat butters, oils, and high sugar sauces when cooking. I cook all my meats, veggies, etc. with Pam Olive Oil cooking spray. With the appropriate seasonings, you really don't need it!

So you get the idea, eat 'clean'. All the meals I prepare in my house are pretty clean. Its not only whats best while your dieting, but its better for your family as well. I don't know about you, but as a mother I want to teach my kids healthy eating habits from the go. You are responsible for laying that foundation. But does Kay get ice cream from time to time, yes! Because she's still after all a child, but do we keep it in the house. No! (see tip # 4)

Tip # 2 : Curb Hunger With Fiber

Not only it is good to keep things moving if ya know what I mean, but it makes you feel full too! You always here people say that eating a high fiber diet will keep you feeling fuller longer, and its true! But for me it was always such a guessing game as to what high-fiber was. So I adapted this little trick. When I get hungry I pop one of these; a Assorted Fruit Sugar Free Fiber Chewable. I love them actually, its like eating candy to me! They taste great, and really I'm not just saying that. So I chew one of these and chug a half of bottle of water, every night after dinner when I start getting hungry again or get the urge to snack. Works like a charm. I instantly feel full and I'm getting my fiber too!

Tip # 3: Drink Water, Only Water, and Lots of It

I drink 2 bottles while working out alone, all before 10 am. When I get hungry, I chug water, while I am eating, I chug water. Water is a skinny girls best friend!I am not sure how much water I drink daily, but its a lot. If you are one that likes something other than water with your meals, try tea, unsweetened of course. Or try one of those crystal light packets that you can add to your water.

Tip # 4: If It's Not in Your House, It's Not in Your Mouth!

Don't buy anything at the store and say to your self that you wont eat it. Because you will. In times of desperation, or the times you slip up (which we all do from time to time) that will be first thing in your mouth! So do whats best, and don't buy it in the first place. Because if its not in your house, it wont go in your mouth. And if you say to yourself that you are buying it for your kids, or your husband, stop right there. Do they need it? Is it good for them? The answer is no. So move on.

And lastly, because so many people ask me what I eat all the time, I am going to share with you what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast: a Yoplait Greek Yogurt- my go to breakfast when I'm in a hurry. The honey vanilla is my personal fav! Full of protein, 0 fat, and only 130 calories. Coffee with FF french vanilla creamer.

Snack: 1/2 cup of low fat cottage cheese.

Lunch: 1/2 cup of jasmine organic brown rice with roasted edamame and sliced roasted carrots.

Snack: A gala apple with 2 tbps. of of organic crunchy peanut butter.

Dinner: 2 king crab legs steamed and plain (not an ordinary dinner for me, but they were on sale for 7.77 a pound!), and a huge salad with garbanzo beans, baby grape tomatoes, and cucumbers with super low calorie, super yummy Roaster Red Pepper Italian dressing and a squeeze of lemon juice! Such a great combo I have found.

Exercise for the day: 50 min. on the elliptical

Usually my breakfast consists of either the greek yogurt or egg whites with a sprinkle of reduced fat cheese and salsa. Lunch is usually a salad, with some sort of protein (beans, diced chicken, edamame). Snacks are fresh veggies, an apple or banana and/or some trail mix. And dinner is a big salad with no matter what I'm eating, and then a small salad plate sized portion of whatever I made that night for dinner.

I hope this helps you all who are trying to lose weight, and I hope you've found some of my tips helpful in your journey to a skinner you!!

Wordless Wednesday

I thought I would use this Wordless Wednesday to share the rest of the pictures from our 3 month photo shoot...So here ya go....my favs!

You can see more of the ones I posted last week here. And if you love my blog you'll click to vote ; )

Houston, We Have A Roller

This week little M started rolling from her back to her stomach! She doesn't do it every time, and just started the other day, so hasn't mastered the art yet, but she's sure figured it out! She is quite the mover I might add, every morning I wake up only to find her at the other end of her crib and completely turned around. This kid gets around! Last night we were hanging out on her play mat and I manged to capture a roll on camera...

Playing happily on her back...

Should I do it?

Yeah, I think I'm gonna do it...Here I go...

And I DID IT!

Wow. That was hard.

Okay, someone flip me over now!!

You know shes rolled if all of a sudden she starts fussing! Because she hasn't quite figured out how to roll back onto to her back yet, so she'll cry out for help instead! Someone please come get me, I'm being tortured! Help! Because she hates being on her tummy for the most part, unless you catch her at a rare moment.

Happy 6th Birthday Kay!

My baby turns 6 today. sigh. Its all gone way too fast. We had her party on Saturday at Pump it Up and my friend Mya, who has been flexing her baking skills at cake classes, offered to make her cake! So of course I gladly accepted! It was a 2 tiered castle cake with purple frosting and all, and I must say it was quite delish! So thanks Mya! Kay had a fabulous time at her party with her friends and it was the first year I didn't have to really plan a big party (usually I pull out all the stops with custom invites and months of planning!) Although I love planning parties, it was nice to just show up and everything else be done! And I didn't even have to pick up cake ; )

Mya's Masterpiece!

Me, Miss M, and ...Mya in the background...Say Cheese!

Kay and Daddy

The Whole Gang

And since today is her actual birthday, I surprised her at school for lunch with Taco Bell (her fav) and cupcakes to share with her class. She was SO happy about that! It really made her day. She wore her crown to school today and the kids were so cute. They all made her feel very special! We saved the top tier of the cake for today and have just been celebrating her birthday all weekend pretty much : )

So Happy Birthday to my sweet Kay, I love you more than life itself. You gave me purpose when I had none, showed me the real meaning of life and love, and are truly my greatest accomplishment!

April 18th, 2009

This is a very special day to me. Because exactly one year ago today, on April 18th 2009 I had IUI # 3. And exactly 12 days later I woke up at 5:30 am, peed on a digital pregnancy test filled with fear that what if it didn't work, where are we going from here, and how would I handle another BFN after 22 months of disappointments and pain. Only I didn't see another BFN, I saw the single most beautiful word I have ever seen....

Pregnant.

And my whole life changed. In that very moment. and I cried and cried in pure and utter happiness and disbelief. A happiness I have never felt before. After hoping and praying for something for so long, and having let down after let down, there it was starting in my face. Pregnant! One simple word changed my whole life, and I cried more. I was shaking I was so happy. I wrote this post and was on top of the world, yet still so fragile. IF does that to you, but I knew it my heart it would be okay. It had to be.

It still seems like yesterday, walking into the ultra sounds room at my RE's office for our first u/s, clinching my husbands hand to the point of loss of circulation, just praying to see a healthy heartbeat (and of course wondering how many babies were in there as I had 3 mature follies at trigger time). And I did, and it was the most beautiful sight. And I cried more because I felt so so lucky.

This was my baby. Our baby. The baby we had been hoping for for almost 2 years. The baby we fought for, paid thousands of dollars for, cried for, begged for, and then there she was just like none of that ever happened. A perfect little baby.

So this is a day I will never forget, almost like a birthday. This day represent so much to me. It was the day that Kay became a big sister, a day I became a mommy again, and a day that filled the void in our family. The day I got pregnant with Miss M. April 18th, 2009. As I sit here and look at her now, I just cant believe how far we've come in just 1 year!! I am still just so so thankful that I got to experience it all again. Because nothing in this world means more to me that my babies!! And because I know there are still so many couples who are in my old shoes, who deserve this just as much as I do.

Lucy La Rue

Is our beloved cat, well one of them, we have 2 but she is by far our favorite. But dont tell Baby that (our other cat, her son ironically). She has been a part of the family since Kay was a baby. She loves Kay and has always been protective of her, like the little mommy she is. Naturally, now that Miss M is around she loves her immensely too! It is very cute! She sleeps outside her door, just like what she did when Kay was a baby. But what does Lucy La Rue love more than Miss M herself? Well...that would be her stuff!

Exhibit A

Lucy lounging in Miss M's newborn napper

Exhibit B

Lucy lounging on M's changing table

And most recently...

Exhibit C

Lucy lounging in the basket of Miss M's stroller!

Oh and yes, I have caught her in the crib too, but I just haven't managed to snap a picture of her in that yet! I think its hilarious! Wonder what place she'll find to lounge next?

and just for old times sake...Lucy lounging on Kay!

Have a great weekend everyone!