Saturday, October 31, 2009

30 Weeks!

Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus.
How far along? 30 weeks....OMG 30 weeks!?!! I cant believe I am in the final stretch now.
Total weight gain/loss? Went back to the OB last week and I had put on 2 1/2 pounds since my last appt. a month ago, again totally shocked because I though I had put on a lot more! So total weight gain is now 20 1/2 pounds.
Maternity cloths? All day every day
Stretch marks? None yet
Sleep? Ahhhh sleep....whats that?
Best moment last week? Realizing that I am really having a really. Up until this point I still couldn't really believe that I was having a baby. Crazy I know. I mean I know I am pregnant (and in the 3rd tri no less), but the shock and overwhelming blessed feeling of it actually happening to me is fading away, and I am actually having a baby : )!!!!!!
Movement? Yes, and I love it! I can seeing things rolling by now, which makes for a fun "what do you think that was?" game!
Food cravings? NOT BEEF anymore!!!! YAY, I really thought that craving would never go away but ever since I started the iron supplement the craving slowly faded away. Lately I have been craving peanut butter, all things pumpkin, and orange juice/orange fanta.
Gender? all girl!
Labor signs? No...and lets keep it that way for a while!
Belly button in or out? out
What I miss? Sleeping
What I am looking forward to?Bold My baby shower, its next weekend!
Milestones? All the major stuff in the nursery is almost done. I still need to get the chandelier, curtains, and I am waiting for my glider to arrive. I will post pics soon!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Pictures and Pumpkins

Last night we carved our pumpkins! Every year we always do them too soon and the ended up rotting horribly by Halloween, so this year we decided to wait a few extra days before digging in. Kay REALLY loves Halloween and couldn't wait to carve her pumpkin! So I set up shop on our patio and we got to carving..

Daddy cut the top off for her

And she dug right in
We always collect our pumpkin seeds so we can roasted them...although Kay was confused and thought I was going to make a pie! Boy was she wrong...she should know by now that mommy is so not a baker. Needless to say she was very meticulous while cleaning out her pumpkin.

DH doing his dirty work...

And boy was he dirty...boys...

She really wanted her pumpkin to have a scary face, but we had no patterns that were scary enough for her liking. She waited patiently while daddy mapped out her pattern.

AND...ta-da....the final product! Ironically enough, mine was the tall skinny one! We all had a chuckle about that seeing how I am walking around with a nice big pumpkin size belly : )

And last but not least, a picture of the sunset from our deck. Beautiful!

Thursday, October 29, 2009


My regular readers may remember this post from a few months ago, about my volunteer work with RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association. Well all the planning is done, and the Fall Family Building Symposium is next weekend! I am really looking forward to it, as its been something I have been working on the last few months. I have really enjoyed working with the other volunteers to pull this whole thing together. So seeing the turn out and how it all comes together is going to be gratifying. Plus a lot of our baby makin team will be there, so it will be nice to catch up with some of them!

I also volunteered to answer the Help Line on Fridays for the next year. Basically people can call the local RESOLVE Help Line for help and resources regarding all things IF in their area. Recommendations for RE's or adoption agencies, infertility counselors...things of that nature. Or if they just need someone to talk to about their struggles. I also might take over organizing the professional support groups that are held (where RE/IF professional offices hold a support group to give advice, etc.) We'll see.

Overall it feels great to help out with something that is so close to my heart, and something I am SO passionate about. I am really excited to see how things turn out next weekend and hopefully we will be able to reach out to a lot of couples who are still struggling to build their families.

If anyone is in AZ, and would like more info about the Fall Family Building Symposium you can click here. Or you can click here to find support groups or events being held in your area!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Really Dissappointed

I called the hospital this morning to set up my tour of the birth center and to schedule Kay's sibling preparation class and found out that because its RSV season, and because of the H1N1 no children under 12 (even siblings) will not be allowed on any patient floors of the hospital. This breaks my heart that Kay wont be able to come see her baby sister after she is born. That's one of those moments I have been dreaming about. I feel so sad because I WANT her there!! Not for the actual birth, but immediately after. I know shes not going to like it much either knowing that mommy is gone having the baby and she cant come and visit. I mean I understand why they do this, but it sucks big time. I was really really looking forward to those pictures of Kay holding her brand new baby sister in the hospital, all wrapped up in a hospital blanket with her eyes barely open....Now I just have to pray that I at least don't have to have a c-section! I don't want to be stuck there for 4-5 days with out Kay!

Time to come up with some creative ideas to help make her feel included, with out her actually being there : (

Friday, October 23, 2009

Once an Infertile, Always an Infertile

I think the most common questions I see from any woman who has dealt with infertility and is now pregnant is..

When will it go away?
Why does is still sting every time I hear a pg announcement?
Will I always be this bitter?
I'm finally pregnant, so why does it still hurt so bad?

I have asked and still ask myself these questions all the time, and the truth is I don't think it will ever go away. I mean, how could I really think that something that had such an impact on my life would just fade away because of a positive pregnancy test? Because pregnancy was the ultimate goal I guess? But if I had been diagnosed and treated for a serious disease and was now better (not cured!), should I expect to just forget all the bumps and hurtles I had to jump to get better? I, like many SAIF'ers (Success after Infertility), had it in my mind too that it would be easier once I was finally pregnant. The truth is (and forgive me if I offend anyone) but unless I know they have struggled with IF it still hurts to hear people announce their pregnant. I am happy for them, but then the why me's? Why us? Why did we have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars, almost 2 years, and many many tears later to finally have something that most couple get for free one night in bed together? kick in. Its horrible! I hate feeling this way, I want to be truly happy for others who are expecting regardless if they had struggles or not. I don't want to be this bitter infertile who wears infertility like a badge, but the wound is still there and I don't know how or when the sting will go away. Or if it will ever go away. This is part of our lives, whether we like it or not, it's there. And the truth of the matter is....We are still infertile.

We don't have the option of having more children if we want. That is unless we want to spent another 2 years, thousands more dollars on treatments while working with RE's and a male infertility urologist paying for and doing more shots for DH all while praying that it will work the same the second time around. And that still doesn't guarantee us a pregnancy or a baby.

We are infertile. That will never go away. I guess I need to come to terms with it? But how does one do that? How does one begin to accept that without pain or resentment?

Some SAIF'ers have said that the sting will never go away but as the years go by it hurts less, but that is always still there...So I guess this is the next chapter of my IF journey, learning how to deal with my past (and reality!) and really move on from that dark dark place.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Nesting or Suddenly OCD?

I feel like I am suddenly riding on the crazy train!! I spent 2 hours today cleaning Kay's toys! Not because they were dirty, but because I was cleaning something else right next to them, and said hey..I'll clean these too! Every where I look there is something that needs to be cleaned, put away, or yesterday! Its like I have the overwhelming sense that everything needs to get done now. Any sort of clutter anywhere is driving me crazy! So in an effort to "calm" my nesting craziness, I have begun to make lists of what needs to be done. I am hoping by putting it all on paper it will alleviate that urge to do everything now, knowing that I have a list that I am working towards completing.

In a way I guess its good, I am tackling some things I have been meaning to get to for a while now...but at the same time I feel like I should be on a show...IDK...The Diary of a Mad Pregnant Woman?!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Lovely Lady Lumps

And no I'm not talking about Fergie here! I am talking about the crazy things that are my belly of course!! This is the best part of pregnancy, feeling and seeing your baby move around in there. Its such an entertaining sight! When this happens I just stare in amazement that that is a human being inside my body, that is my baby. Sometimes things can get a little hairy. For example, this is a picture of the Little Lady lumped up all on the right side while driving.

She really likes it over there because here she is again the other night ...lumped to the right side.

I am also feeling lumps and bumps is other places now, so I am not sure if she has moved or if she is just bigger now so I am feeling more....either way it's good times!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Happy Anniversary....To Us!

2 years ago today I married my Its amazing how fast time flies. I cant wait to see what the next 50 years has in store for us : )

Monday, October 19, 2009

Meal Planning Mondays!

Here's whats for dinner at my house this week:
  • B.L.T's made with thick cut bacon (man I have been craving one of these!!) So excited!
  • Chicken Teriyaki with stir fry veggies and brown rice
  • Apricot & Rosemary pork chops with new potatoes and asparagus
  • Coconut Shrimp with veggie spring rolls
  • Chicken and Noodle Casserole

Feel free to leave a comment if you are interested in any recipes and/or instructions.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

28 Weeks

By this week your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes!
How far along? 28 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss? Up 18 pounds at my last OB appt...I am sure I have gained more since.
Maternity cloths? Oh yes
Stretch marks? None yet
Sleep? One word. Crappy. We'll leave it at that.
Best moment last week?
Movement? Yep...she has a general sleep/wake pattern she follows and she gets the hiccups now too. I think its so cute : )
Food cravings? Still the pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks! And anything else pumpkin for that matter. I am noticing I am craving beef less and less now. Maybe its the iron supplement I am taking so my body doesn't need it as much anymore? IDK, But I am liking it.
Gender? All girl : )
Labor signs? Oh no and hopefully not for many many more weeks.
Belly button in or out? Out
What I miss? Wearing my old cloths, I know I say that a lot but I hate that I have to wear the same number of things all the time.
What I am looking forward to? Seeing my pg BFF, and my baby shower!
Milestones? This may sound a little bit crazy being that I am in my 3rd trimester and all, but I still have moments where I can not believe this is me, and that I am actually pregnant. I still feel so incredibly blessed and lucky to have this little miracle growing inside me. Sometimes I just stop and look down at my belly and marvel that this is my life! And I am having a baby!! And soon I will have 2 beautiful little girls in my life!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Stressful Week

Let's just say I am glad this week is over.

I have a lot going on in my life right now and have been feeling very overwhelmed and stressed out most days. I do my best to try and remind myself that "this too shall pass" and that some things are out of my control. I know its not good for me to feel stressed out while pregnant. I have noticed that when I am really stressed I have more braxton hicks contractions....and that's no bueno. I will not disclose everything that is going on, but one of my biggest worries is the fact that we have started another huge renovation on our house (we are knocking out a wall and adding a new foyer and front door, adding a step in the living room, finishing my DH's office, and re carpeting). I lay awake at night worrying if it will be done in time for the baby. It HAS to be done in time. I cant have any construction going on with a newborn in the house. But again, its out of my hands...we are at a stand still...pending a city building permit. I am at their mercy. I know when this goes through I will feel better.

So here's to better days!!! Let the weekend begin : )

Monday, October 12, 2009

Meal Planning Mondays

A few of you requested that I continue to post my weekly meal plans, so here ya go! Here is my meal plan for this week:
  • Homemade pizza's (so fun to do with Kay too!) and a side salad
  • BBQ chicken, with oven roasted corn on the cob, and mashed potatoes
  • Salmon with a asian sesame sauce, veggies, and rice
  • Crock pot beef stew (so easy and my DH loves this! I freeze the left overs in individual serving sizes so he can just take it out and re heat for lunches, etc.)
  • Lasagna, italian style salad, and break sticks

I will say that I don't usually cook on the weekends. Normally we will eat out or get take out 1 night, and then the other night we will have left overs from the week. I love to cook, but its nice to have the weekends "off"!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

27 Week Belly Pics

View from the topAnd just for is a picture of me and my crazy kid last night at my brothers birthday dinner. Cake...too much cake..

Saturday, October 10, 2009

27 Weeks

This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like the head of a cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning- with a lot of medical help- if she was born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on.

How far along: 27 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: Up 18 pounds at my last ob appt.
Maternity cloths: Yes
Stretch marks: None yet, thank god.
Sleep: Better I guess...still not great.
Best moment last week: Seeing her at our u/s again! Passing my 3 hour glucose test.
Movement: Oh yes, and strong ones too!
Food cravings: Decaf pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks & Goober PB&J (the kind with the peanut butter and jelly all on one jar) I eat that with a spoon...who needs bread?!
Gender: Girl..I had them double check yesterday too! Just to make sure she didn't decide to grow a penis since the last u/s : )
Labor Signs: Nope, but lots of braxton hicks contractions.
Belly button in or out: Out!
What I miss: Pants with zippers, being able to run if need be, and putting on and tying my own shoes.
What I am looking forward to: Working more on the nursery (yes, its a slow process around here), and my baby excited because my BFF from Cali is coming!
Milestones: Making it to 3rd tri!

How We Became a Family of Four

If your new to my blog, you might be wondering, how can this lady be infertile and have 2 kids? Well that is because 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility, and part of that is secondary infertility. We are one of those couples. Here was our journey to becoming a family of four.

I have a 7 year old little girl from a previous relationship (no assistance needed), my husband has 2 older children from his previous marriage (no assistance needed). Oblivious to secondary infertility we started trying to have a child together in July of 2007. Much to our surprise we soon discovered we had severe MFI and ovulatory disfunction (annovulation). After trying numerous drugs on my DH and waiting many many months while working with a male infertility urologist and RE, hcg injects finally did the trick! So after 22 months, a cancelled IVF, and 3 IUI's, we finally welcomed our little miracle on December 31, 2009!! Below is a detailed account of our journey....

July 2007- Stopped taking BC...YAY I'll be pregnant in no time!!

January 2008- Started charting, showing no ovulation, also found out we have MFI or male factor infertility (very low testosterone, lowish counts, very low motility (3%), and low morph (9%).

February 2008- First appointment with a male infertility urologist. Uro most concerned with his low testosterone levels, sperm count, and most importantly his very very low motility.

April 2008- DH started Clomid and Fertility Blend for Men.

May 2008- Clomid is not helping at all, dose was increased. Started testing on me through my OB.

June 2008- First RE appointment! Clomid still not helping DH at all, moving onto 3x weekly hCG injections.

July 2008- Testing with RE begins; CD 3 b/w, u/s, and a HSG. Baseline u/s showed large cyst, all other tests were cancelled. DH started injects.

August 2008- Testing take 2! CD 3 u/s, b/w, and HSG. Cyst gone, tubes clear, hormones normal. RE said I have very PCOSish like cycles (long and annovulatory). DX'ed with Ovulatory Dysfunction.

September 2008- IUI #1 w/ clomid & trigger shot. Cancelled due to poor S/A results (only 300,000 total mobile sperm). Now looking into IVF w/ICSI

October 2008- IVF #1; cancelled.

November 2008- Break Cycle that was 63 days long, provera to induce AF.

December 2008- Another break cycle. DH has follow up S/A after being on the hCG 5 months now and low and behold it is WORKING!! Motility improved from 3% to 49%, count went from around 20 mil. to 40 mil., morph still low at 11%. Thank you hCG!! Moving back to IUI's!

January 2009- IUI #1 take 2 w/ 50 mg clomid + trigger (1 follie) + progesterone: BFN

March 2009- IUI # 2 w/ 100 mg clomid + trigger (2 follies) + progesterone: BFN (count post wash was 14 mil. with 39 % motility)

April 2009- IUI # 3 w/ 50 mg clomid + 75 units of follistim + trigger (3 follies) + progesterone: BFP!!!! (count post wash was 12 mil. and 36 % motility) Beta #1 at 12 dpo was 100, Beta #2 at 14 dpo was 274!! Click here for my BFP chart

May 2009- First u/s showed 1 healthy baby!!! HB was 125 bpm at 6 weeks 4 days!! SO in love.

July 2009- Decided to freeze 2 samples of sperm 'just in case' before DH stopped taking HCG and started back testosterone therapy.

Dec 2009- Little M entered the world! Click here to read my birth story!

Jan 2011- Back to the RE to discuss using our frozen sperm, re did HSG and CD 3 labs. Tubes clear, labs good.

May 2011- Frozen sperm IUI. 50 mg clomid + follistim + 2 extra shots of bravelle due to lack of response + trigger (3 mature follies) + IUI w/ 2.4 mil total motile sperm + progesterone: BFN

June 2011- Frozen sperm IUI attempt. 100 mg clomid  + 75 units of bravelle on CD 5, 7, & 9 + a few more shots of bravelle + trigger (3 follies) + IUI w/ 9.6 mil sperm: BFN

August 2011- Large cyst (60mm) on forced break. BCP for 2 months to shrink.

Oct/Nov 2011- Final frozen sperm IUI: BFFN It's over :(

Nov 2011- Unexpectedly became a foster mom to my 6 year old cousin, L. God works in mysterious ways!

If anyone has any question regarding our journey, is going through the same things and has questions, or simply needs some support, please feel free to email me. I love to hear from you and thank you for being there to help support me over the years.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Ultra Sound Update

Well I am happy to report that our little lady looks great!! Kidney fluid is all in the normal range! She is about 2 1/2 pounds now and she has HAIR! How exciting! When the u/s first started she was moving around and kicking in there, then she got the hiccups. My heart just melted because not only could I SEE her jump with each hiccup but I could feel it to.

Then after the tech was done with all her measurements she went to get some good 3/4D face shots for us, but by then baby was over it and was napping with her face snuggled right into the placenta as if it were a pillow. The tech tried and tried to get her to move, but she was comfy and was not having any of it. So we only got one picture, and its not that great. It's probably going to be even harder for you to see because my desk top computer is down right now and I am having to use my lap top, which means I had to take a pic with my camera of the picture. Here is a shot of her profile, you can see her ear on the right and her face/nose/mouth to the left. She's so cute already : P

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I Passed!

My 3 hour glucose test came back fine...yippee!

Next up...our follow up u/s on Friday to take a look at the fluid in one of the baby's kidneys that we discovered at our big u/s. They wanted to do the follow up u/s between 26-27 weeks to see if the fluid looks the same, or is gone, or what. I am praying that everything looks fine this time. I am just really excited to see her again and see how big she has gotten! Honestly I am not worried yet, which is surprising because even though they told me it was within the "normal variance" just hearing that there is anything is potentially "wrong" with your baby is not a good feeling. But I honestly haven't let it bother me AND I still haven't googled it!! Very very impressed with myself. So I am hoping this is a good sign and that she is A-OK in there and that both kidney's and everything else looks great. I am sure once I am sitting in the waiting room on Friday morning I will be a ball of nerves though....I always am.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Meet My New Best Friend

I have been all over these like a fat kid with cake!! OMG I have had the worst heartburn the last week or so. Every day. No matter what I eat, how I eat, sitting up, laying down, nothing gives. Even water is giving me heartburn. Well you know what they say....if you have heartburn then your baby will have lots of hair? Well then I must be pregnant with a monkey if this is true!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

26 Weeks

The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel.

How far along: 26 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: Up 18 pounds
Maternity clothes: Yes, everything is maternity.
Stretch marks: No...thank god.
Sleep: It was better for about 2 weeks there, but is now back to shitty again. I wake up 3-4 times a night...sometimes for an hour at a time, and I have also been waking up early, despite getting less sleep : (
Best moment last week: Finishing painting the nursery and getting the carpet installed...slowly but surely her room is coming along.
Movement: Oh yes, definite sleep and wake patterns now too. As a matter of fact, she's going crazy in there as I type (she's a morning person!)
Food cravings: Beef, salads, and now decaf iced pumpkin spice lattes with whip cream from Starbucks. I have had 3 this week : ) They are my new favorite thing, and it also helped with the coffee craving i was having.
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: No, but I get Braxton Hicks contractions often and they suck.
Belly Button in or out: Out
What I miss: Walking without huffing and puffing, not having to pee 23967384927 times per night.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing her again at my u/s this Friday, finishing the nursery, and my baby shower!
Milestones: Almost to the third trimester!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

99 Days

Until my due date! We are now officially in the double its seems to be going by so fast.

In other baby news, the nursery is all painted and the new carpet got installed yesterday! Yippee! All we need to do now is install the baseboards, put the blinds back up, and pick up the furniture (it comes in this afternoon).

Now I am on the hunt for a perfect chandelier!


OB just called and I failed my 1 hour glucose test : ( I was really good now I have to take the 3 hour on Tuesday. Ugh. Oh and my iron is low, so they instructed me to go to the pharmacy and pick up an iron supplement to take along with my prenatal vitamin.

PRAY I pass my 3 hour!!